God, I'm glad you're responsible for this situation and not us. More and more i see how weak I am, how little i can tolerate, ow little faith and loyalty I really have... Even toward you... Forgive me God, I'm sorry for my weak spirit... My distracted nature and my desire to worship anything but you. God I want to only worship you. I don't want to worship this situation, this child or my husband. I want my worship to be yours alone. You are the only one who deserves it.
Jesus.... As I read your life, I am perplexed, astounded, grateful, in awe and full of questions... I don't know how to be like you at all, but I want to. Please be a patient teacher with me, and a hands-on, very involved instructor. Speak to me. Be my discernment and strength until... well... like I'll ever be strong enough really. But build me up for the life to come, so I can best serve you.
Man...this has been a long time in coming. Sorry for running Jesus, sorry ... so sorry... please give us a clean slate (you and me)... My first love, I am sorry... I'm sorry it takes such furstrating circumstances to draw me back. I'm sorry I require so many of your children's prayers to draw me back to you.
Please teach me to love you again. Teach me to worship. Teach me to... ugh... to serve. Teach me...humility. I know serving and humility will not go down easy, but please work gently with me.
With love,
Krysta
Dear Krysta - You and baby are in our prayers...I am sure that this is challening faith journey, it is so easy to 'do our own thing' when we are mobile and can do for ourselves...so you are blessed to be able to see how Jesus calls you in this situation and in these moments to look only to Him. Yes, he can be challenging you to be humble but He can and is probably using you even in this. Be encouraged that God is working in you, as you patiently deal with this process and wait for your baby to come, and as you are still in contact with many people - he is with you as you interact with friends and with health care workers. We pray that His hand will continue to be on your body and in your spirit (and of your hubby) today and continuing... Elaine
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