Sunday, October 31, 2010

Thoughts of a lazy heart

Bah...you know, it's rediculousely easy to get lazy in this fight (the eternal one that is). Especially when it seems like your alone and on a completely different level than the rest of the people around you, in your relationship with christ...

I know it's the way Christ has designed me, and I've known it since childhood...I've always been on a different level... It's just really hard sometimes when your husband, your friends, church, work, occupational field etc... aren't necessarily with you, or even comprehending you...
I realize that may sound really prideful, but I guess it's my reality. I mean, who else around me has gone on a honeymoon with Christ, speaks in tongues, propheceyes,  sees visions of things to come, hears radical requests from christ on a daily basis, and is constantly aware of the spiritual war that's going on? Who else around me fully and truly realizes that everything in this world is just a cheap plastic game that satan can break at any time? Who else around me see's what really truly matters?...and sees it ALL the time, not just during a theological reminder...

who else loses ALOT of sleep over these things, cries over them, and gets depressed about them? I think this is the worst place to be...surrounded by Christians, yet isolated in my faith because of my beliefs.

You know, when your eyes are opened to Christ, they suddenly become opened to the blindness of the church these days...
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Last night I had a worship practice with some of my college friends...seriously it took me almost half the practice to get into a zone of worship...to even remember that I could speak in tongues. Then when I did, it was pretty cool how God revealed to me that despite my laziness the last while (AKA losing heart and giving up, just trying to be like all the other good little Christians), His grace covered it. I don't have to spend a long while praying, or do some outlandish thing for his kingdom before He will fill me with the spirit. He just does it when I call.. He just forgives, and comes... it's great!

One of the songs we sang during our practice  we sang "our god" by Christ Tomlin...oh boy what a powerful song. Suddenly, even though I didn't deserve to be gifted with the sensitivity of the spirit, I was. As the lady from Riverwood set up chairs, So were the demons. they were getting ready for the sunday services...meticulous preparation. As we began to declare this song (it's really hard to NOT mean these words when you're leading the song!) I could feel angry demons trying to shut me up. As we sang "and if our god is for us, then who could ever stop us, then what could stand against" I was litterally sing-shouting those words in the faces of demons as they trembled.... pretty cool stuff.... Haha then I insulted them in tongues!

Any demons listening , know this! OUR God is greater! OUR God is stronger! OUR God is higher than ANY other!

Anywho... those are the ramblings of this somewhat lazy heart...

Friday, October 22, 2010

Jesus

I sat down to do morning devo's and I had yogurt and fruit for my breakfast sitting near. Then I got that feeling that I get before God gives me a prophecy. So  I sat down and proceeded to babble in tongues. Then I heard the voice of my God and He said to me
"Krysta, I want to speak with you. Don't pursue tongues, pursue me..."
To this, my response was to begin thinking of all the names of Christ...well, what He is to me.
Jesus, my savior
Jesus, my author
Jesus, my lover
Jesus, so strong! Stronger than death!
Jesus, you're so worthy of my admiration
Jesus, my leader
Jesus I long for you. I thirst after you like a deprived lover longs to physically be with their spouse. I want you to come over me, come through me, overtake me.

As I began to describe Christ to myself and Him, He began to speak "put the yogurt down...it is unclean today... Live on me Krysta". So I put the yogurt down.  I had intended to go the gym, but God it seems has other plans. "You don't live on bread alone, and today I will teach you this. Drink water. drink my water. Be with me..."
Well, now i'm gonna do just that!
"I long for the water that brings life to me... I long for the truth, it sets man free..." --Shawn McDonald
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Later that morning...
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Man what a morning! It started with some dancing! I was listening to shawn McDonald and worshipped in a vulnerable way I never have before, by dancing. Half way through the dance God whispered "you need a banner for me". and I said "but i have nothing to make it with!" ..."yes you do" He said...He directed me to the back of our appartment, where I happened to find some scraps of fabric from our curtians! They were perfect and flowy for dancing, but still clearly just rags...So I began to sew them together by hand...

"This is how I made you krysta... stitch by stitch. I don't use a sewing machine to knit to you together, it takes me nine months to create a person!"
I kept sewing... one row, two rows...three rows "Keep going Krysta,  I never do anything just "good enough"..it is perfect...
After I sewed it I feel like God revealed that A friend at church who is a dancer, will need this on sunday...as if this perticular banner will help set her free.... seems strange to me, but HEY!
So i began painting it with food coloring (which was both fun and messy).

By the end, my hands were stained bright pink... (i have to work now today with bright pink hands) and Christ said "I should be as obvious to those you see, as these stains will be... What will you tell them krysta? will you say "i was playing with food coloring" or will you say "This is from a spiritual encounter"?" 

I was convicted. I STILL don't know what I will do.

When that was done, I did a few other things I felt lead to do, but in the process experienced some warfare! As I defeated the evil one, the LORD lead me to Proverbs 31:10-31... and after reading it he said "Krysta, you will be this woman! I have gifted you to do these things. Keep unto Me and I will do this! Your very mission in life will be your family!"
...wow... I'm not sure what to think! As I read the proverb, I longed to be that woman, yet to I feel like saying "really God? just my family? that's what all this prophecy, prayer and all that is for?"...but hey! What do I know? ...This brings many questions, but also much praise! I know I can rejoice in loving my husband. I can be energised by helping those around me, sharing with them. I know I can look for good deals, work hard, and do it ALL for my family! I know that somehow my prophetic gifts will be used in my family...but there's more to it, this is also referring to my spiritual family...my church... Now that takes Proverbs 31 to an entirely new level!!!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

malikazamaladiziki

lol that title is in tongues...if anyone knows what it means feel free to tell me! :)
so My husband has finally done some research on prophecy and has decided that he is comfortable with me having the gift! This is because In the old testament, the church answered to the prophets, but now, prophets need to submit to the church and that leadership. Because He knows I am willing to do that, and seek out opinions and external discernment, he has decided that what I am doing is still biblical! YEAAAH!!

SALAMAKALIZISALAKAMI!  (feel free to translate again if you know it...)

Friday, October 15, 2010

I keep trying to blog...

But my A.D.D gets in the way and it never gets finished! It's been a craaaazy time! In a somewhat mellow way.

After a day of no Jesus time I was laying in bed and talking to Him... Eventually I just said from the deepest parts of me "Jesus, I want to see you! Can you please come back and see me?" ...I didn't say this with end times in mind, or even a lack of faith. I said it purely because I've been reading the gospels and I'm in love with Him! I want to see Him! Anyway, His response was "yes. you will see me"...I suddenly got this un-earthly nerve-racking feeling in my gut... I realized what I was asking for and what He had said! I'm both excited and nervous to see how He answers this one. Maybe this means I will see the end times, maybe He will reveal himself to me in a radical way beyond my ideas. Maybe He's talking about heaven...my gut tells me it's the end times one, but then again, John thought he was going to see end times too...

Well after this experience, I went to sleep and had a crazy dream (Ps: I was warned that I would experience warfare)... Well, in the dream, the earth was collapsing with explosions and war an natural disasters. It was end times meets global warming at it's finest... A new religion had exploded on the earth in this dream. The religion was that our God is the god of THIS universe...but that this universe is dieing, and there are gods of OTHER universes whom we could pray to to save ourselves from destruction!
I know it sounds silly, but in the dream, I had to think REDICULOUSELY hard not to conform to the new religion. Even worse, I woke up from the dream several times. each time, I tried to bring myself to my senses. When I would begin praying for clarity, I wouldn't get through the name "Jesu...." and I would be forced back into a heavy sleep. In the end I stuck it out, but that dream was intense warfare!!

In other news, dealings with my husband around prophecy are around the same...although he does want to start praying and reading the bible more. He has decided to do some research on prophecy so he can make an informed decision about the matter. Until then, I guess I wait for the LORD...  Am I discouraged? Heck yes I am. I have a husband who doesn't belive that the above dream was even warfare. I have a husband who thinks it's silly for me to think I might see the end times... He doesn't believe me and that's very disheartening... I really want to prophecy, but I also know that's 10 percent of God's mission for me. I still have the other 90 percent to use right now! I can wait to prophesy in faith that God is going to touch Curtis...somehow... right now that looks impossible, but I know that God is the God of impossibilities.

Now for some CRAAZYNESS! Curtis downloaded a bunch of music from i-tunes (yes it's legit). A new Shawn McDonald cd, Jon Foreman (from Jars of clay) and some other stuff...well i've been listening to it while I scrap book and I've noticed a change in both of these artists... Shawn McDonald sounds A LOT like Jason Upton (a crazy worship leader who'se music doesn't sound like melodic songs). His music is just as powerful as Upton's too.   Jon's music (from Jars of Clay) is written from a lonely longing heart...also his lyrics below (the catalyst for me writing this blog entry) seem to prophetically affirm many things prayed about in our small prayer group in Winnipeg. This is just one song... I feel like God is moving everywhere.


Jon Foreman-  Over The River 
Hush, hush, hush, hush
Hush, hush, hush, hush

I heard a sound come from the ground
All of the trees are a buzz
Talking in tongues
Talking with lungs
Talking with freedom

All of the earth is soon to give birth
Look at the mountains alive
Birds and the bees, insects and me
All of us longing, longing for home, home
Home is somewhere I've never known

Over the river
Over the river
I've set my hope
Over the river
Over the river
I'll find my home in you, you

Death where is your sting? Your signet ring?
Where is your power? Why all this war?
Death to the score, nations are fading
Kingdom of light, setting us right, finally human
Give me your tongue, you will be done
Inside I'm lonely, lonely for love, love
Love is something I've never known

Over the river
Over the river
I'll find my home
Over the river
Over the river
I'll find my hope in you

Hush, hush, hush 


This affirms birthing, the outbreak of tongues like it's a disease, Satan's futility in all of this, and the longingness of God's people to see him and come home... I feel that this song also speaks into end times to come.   Like I said, this is just one song! Shawny Mac had a song about thirsting after the river...Jon has written many more deep and thoughtful songs... Far deeper than jars of clay ever went. I Just wonder if this movement has begun to be bigger than just Winnipeg or Manitoba. I wonder...in a strange, wonderful and terrible way, if we are actually experiencing the final harvest before end times...wow! 

Shayani said it right when she said that harvest time is messy! Harvest isn't just for collecting the good wheat, it's for exposing the bad! Oh how hard it is to be called to a higher calling and see everything you ever thought was good wheat, be exposed as fermented rotting wheat that is only good to be eaten by Canadian geese....  How do you explain to rotting wheat that God can make them good, without offending them? Another impossibility for Christ to conquer, not me. I have a feeling I'm gonna be stuck in the middle though...if that's what happens, then PRAISE be to God for giving me such a worth-while mission! If I get to insult people the way Christ did, sounds like fun to me!! Hah!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Unity of the spirit

So I experienced a strange feeling yesterday evening. The band I sing in played for a youth group in Rosenort (which was frigging awesome by the way!!), and while we were practicing, One of the singer's friends walked into the church.
Now this guy, the friend of my fellow band-mate has experienced God in a crazy radical way! Jesus turned his life upside down and it gives me shivers whenever I think about it! He shares my radical passion for Christ, and thirst for something greater. During his experience with God, he too recieved the gift of tongues. (Tongues here, tongues there, tongues EVERYWHERE...YEESH!)  **and by the way, Kayla now speaks tongues...and she never thought she would...HAH! TAKE THAT SPIRIT OF DOUBT!!**

BACK to my story!! When J (we'll call my friend's buddy "J" for now) walked into the room and my friend was waving at him, my heart LITTERALLY skipped a beat! like... you know when you turn your neck funny and it cracks and your whole neck is like warm and tingly (usually in a bad way)? Well this was like that, only in my heart and stomach (and in a good way)! My spirit was directed to the scripture where Mary (Jesus's mom) talks to her cousin and her cousin says that the baby leapt within her womb when she saw Mary.

I finally saw someone COMPLETELY unrelated to my own story whom God has touched in the same way! I instantly knew "this is my brother and I could trust him with my life" I knew at once that If I needed spiritual back-up, that he'd be there in a heartbeat. Before I even said "hello" to him, I was aware of a unity in the spirit that is so much greater than we are!

When we prayed before the worship event, I was being reassured by Christ, as we both sat their very quietly praying in tongues...completely separate, yet totally united beyond our understanding. Christ was reassuring me "Krysta, this isn't all in your head. you aren't making it up. This is real. I am real. See how I work in other situations? I am beginning a work and you are within my will and plans".

I think it is so easy for me to doubt because my husband is not in the same place as I. In fact he has respectfully asked that I stop prophesying because he feels I am just trying to be a psychic...Yes, this tears at the deepest parts of my soul, because my husband (whom I love dearly and have chosen to respect) is asking me to stop using a gift from God. I know he just doesn't understand prophesy yet. How could he? The only reason I get it, is cause I've got it! The only reason I have this gift is the grace of God! Therefore out of my nothingness, all I can do is pray. And that is the most powerful weapon of all!

Christ has done a miraculous thing by prophetically giving me warning of this. By telling me not to be afraid to respect my husband, He has given me permission to follow God 100% while obeying His word which says to respect my husband. In fact, Christ has come to me and in the consoling way only He can have, He has comforted me with these words "yes this is a gift you have. And it will be a GREAT gift! I am using this time to sharpen you in other ways that will make your prophetic gift more holy and pure for me! Be patient. I will not give you prophetic words during this time, because you are honoring me by honoring your husband"

... WOW!! What a God! I could not be any happier than I am right now, because I am still recklessly abandoned to my first love! I will continue to do what he tells me to. I will say what He gives me to say! You! You should praise Christ for His greatness! If not  for something you see in your own miraculous life, then praise him for his work in my life! I don't deserve any of it, I'm just an A.D.D. 22 year old with no job!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

obedience

God is continuing to shape and mold me. I am so excited to be the woman he has made me to be! Lately He has been teaching me obedience through obeying my husband's beliefs. There are parts of my new journey with Christ that my husband has yet to understand... Because of this I need to back off on those gifts out of obedience to my husband. This is something that breaks my heart, but I am confident is right!

In fact, Christ has been whispering in my ear "this is all in my will"...it's funny how He reassured me that following my husband was within His will (see last post) before any of this happened! Go God!! You are always to be praised!!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

live your dreams

So the sermon series at Riverwood is  about re-experiencing your dreams...lost dreams, forgotten dreams...gifts and plans from God. I think it's pretty interesting! Three examples given from the bible were Joseph, Moses and Mary (mother of Jesus) who lived incredible dreams! Joseph had his dreams stab him in the back when Potiphar's wife tried to take advantage of him
***side note** The Greek word for "officer" used for Potiphar is the same word used for uniqe elsewhere in the bible! Who knew man-less men could get married! Makes his wife's position more understandable too...Wrong, but understandable!

Anyway, in the message Pastor Tod talked about different ways people react to getting a dream or vision for their life. They sometimes are prideful (Joseph, bragging to bro's), sometimes they panic (Moses "who am I!?") or they ponder it (Mary)...

Why am I sharing my sunday sermon with you? Because We all have dreams....For me right now, I know that I have been anointed by God himself! I have been propheseyed over by two friends, and I know in my heart and head that I have seen visions of myself on a stage before  hundreds of people, telling them how it is! Exposing demons and lifting up the name of Jesus! I know I will be a bondage breaker, and I am not afraid to broadcast that dream to anyone who reads this! I am broadcasting it because I KNOW it's God's will!

I also know God is going to fulfill my dream of having a family, and a beautiful home with a garden...sounds trivial right? But He has taken the time to confirm that dream for me! I also know I can relax and follow my husband's leadership and I will always remain in God's will! He has confirmed that for me. He will never bring me a challenge that will go against my marital commitment. I am in His will when I honor my husband!


If you know me quite well, you will understand how impossible all three of these dreams seem when smushed together, but God is God and I am not! I am so excited to see Him work, and I will not let go of these dreams! For now, I am pondering these things, tossing them in my memory to treasure forever, and never forget.