But my A.D.D gets in the way and it never gets finished! It's been a craaaazy time! In a somewhat mellow way.
After a day of no Jesus time I was laying in bed and talking to Him... Eventually I just said from the deepest parts of me "Jesus, I want to see you! Can you please come back and see me?" ...I didn't say this with end times in mind, or even a lack of faith. I said it purely because I've been reading the gospels and I'm in love with Him! I want to see Him! Anyway, His response was "yes. you will see me"...I suddenly got this un-earthly nerve-racking feeling in my gut... I realized what I was asking for and what He had said! I'm both excited and nervous to see how He answers this one. Maybe this means I will see the end times, maybe He will reveal himself to me in a radical way beyond my ideas. Maybe He's talking about heaven...my gut tells me it's the end times one, but then again, John thought he was going to see end times too...
Well after this experience, I went to sleep and had a crazy dream (Ps: I was warned that I would experience warfare)... Well, in the dream, the earth was collapsing with explosions and war an natural disasters. It was end times meets global warming at it's finest... A new religion had exploded on the earth in this dream. The religion was that our God is the god of THIS universe...but that this universe is dieing, and there are gods of OTHER universes whom we could pray to to save ourselves from destruction!
I know it sounds silly, but in the dream, I had to think REDICULOUSELY hard not to conform to the new religion. Even worse, I woke up from the dream several times. each time, I tried to bring myself to my senses. When I would begin praying for clarity, I wouldn't get through the name "Jesu...." and I would be forced back into a heavy sleep. In the end I stuck it out, but that dream was intense warfare!!
In other news, dealings with my husband around prophecy are around the same...although he does want to start praying and reading the bible more. He has decided to do some research on prophecy so he can make an informed decision about the matter. Until then, I guess I wait for the LORD... Am I discouraged? Heck yes I am. I have a husband who doesn't belive that the above dream was even warfare. I have a husband who thinks it's silly for me to think I might see the end times... He doesn't believe me and that's very disheartening... I really want to prophecy, but I also know that's 10 percent of God's mission for me. I still have the other 90 percent to use right now! I can wait to prophesy in faith that God is going to touch Curtis...somehow... right now that looks impossible, but I know that God is the God of impossibilities.
Now for some CRAAZYNESS! Curtis downloaded a bunch of music from i-tunes (yes it's legit). A new Shawn McDonald cd, Jon Foreman (from Jars of clay) and some other stuff...well i've been listening to it while I scrap book and I've noticed a change in both of these artists... Shawn McDonald sounds A LOT like Jason Upton (a crazy worship leader who'se music doesn't sound like melodic songs). His music is just as powerful as Upton's too. Jon's music (from Jars of Clay) is written from a lonely longing heart...also his lyrics below (the catalyst for me writing this blog entry) seem to prophetically affirm many things prayed about in our small prayer group in Winnipeg. This is just one song... I feel like God is moving everywhere.
Jon Foreman- Over The River
Hush, hush, hush, hush
Hush, hush, hush, hush
I heard a sound come from the ground
All of the trees are a buzz
Talking in tongues
Talking with lungs
Talking with freedom
All of the earth is soon to give birth
Look at the mountains alive
Birds and the bees, insects and me
All of us longing, longing for home, home
Home is somewhere I've never known
Over the river
Over the river
I've set my hope
Over the river
Over the river
I'll find my home in you, you
Death where is your sting? Your signet ring?
Where is your power? Why all this war?
Death to the score, nations are fading
Kingdom of light, setting us right, finally human
Give me your tongue, you will be done
Inside I'm lonely, lonely for love, love
Love is something I've never known
Over the river
Over the river
I'll find my home
Over the river
Over the river
I'll find my hope in you
Hush, hush, hush
This affirms birthing, the outbreak of tongues like it's a disease, Satan's futility in all of this, and the longingness of God's people to see him and come home... I feel that this song also speaks into end times to come. Like I said, this is just one song! Shawny Mac had a song about thirsting after the river...Jon has written many more deep and thoughtful songs... Far deeper than jars of clay ever went. I Just wonder if this movement has begun to be bigger than just Winnipeg or Manitoba. I wonder...in a strange, wonderful and terrible way, if we are actually experiencing the final harvest before end times...wow!
Shayani said it right when she said that harvest time is messy! Harvest isn't just for collecting the good wheat, it's for exposing the bad! Oh how hard it is to be called to a higher calling and see everything you ever thought was good wheat, be exposed as fermented rotting wheat that is only good to be eaten by Canadian geese.... How do you explain to rotting wheat that God can make them good, without offending them? Another impossibility for Christ to conquer, not me. I have a feeling I'm gonna be stuck in the middle though...if that's what happens, then PRAISE be to God for giving me such a worth-while mission! If I get to insult people the way Christ did, sounds like fun to me!! Hah!
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