It's so interesting to have a sleepless night amidst nights of full rest. I
don't mind it. Yes I'll be tired tomorrow and shooting back the coffee pretty
hard, but I tend to be a bit more careful about how I act when I am fully aware
of my own sleep deprivation. So chances are, I'll be a more patient mother, and
may actually get something cleaned up! ;) I'm not sure why I'm having the sleeplessness... the last few full moons I’ve had a bit of insomnia though so
maybe it's just that (I haven't actually checked if it's a full moon yet, lol
let me confirm that first... well it's about a 3/4 full moon. so there goes
that theory... oh well!).
Sammy woke up for no apparent reason around 12, so I got some midnight cuddles from
him while I sang a good oldie. "The lord loves me, and oh what a wonder I
see, a rainbow shines in my window the lord, loves, me...." Don't ask me
why that's the one that came to mind, but I'm sure my mom will read this
(aren't moms the best? reading our blogs lol!) and get a pretty serious "throw-back-Thursday"
to all those asthma-riddled nights that she sang me this song.... anyways, so
Sammy and I sat and rocked for a good 15 minutes looking out the window while
my eyes played tricks on my hopeful mind which was pretending to see deer in
the dim moonlight... you know, I have yet to see some legit wildlife out here!?
I know it exists, but maybe I smell bad enough that it avoids me or something!
:)
Once Sammy went back to bed, I did likewise. But the insomnia force is strong with me
tonight... and so I prayed for rest...which made me think of other prayer requests
such as my lovely Josiah who could easily be re-named "Ecclesiastes"
lately. "Meaningless, meaningless, all is meaningless..." I swear
that kid can find the negative angle on any situation! It's almost impressive
really, if it weren't so draining and time consuming... But from what I have
heard from several other moms, I am not alone in having a 3-5 year old who is
capable of burning an afternoon to the ground. Maybe it's a stage of life, or
maybe it’s a sign of a form of generational parenting that is failing...maybe it's both, but
I am starting to also wonder if there might be a spirit of oppression over our
impressionable children right now. Satan trying to stop a generation from
certain growth in the spirit and in the kingdom. If he can just keep the moms
tired enough, drained enough that they won’t answer the inquisitive spiritual
questions of these little minds, maybe he can get them past the "why"
stage without them finding Jesus... I used to resent coming to Christ at 3
years old, but owning a 2 and 4 year old have made me re-think that. Of
course, it depends on the child. But Josiah asks many questions about all kinds
of philosophical stuff. He gets that there is more to life. And quite honestly,
when he was tantruming because (I kid you not, this was the reason) his legs
stopped working, I picked him up, and prayed in the name of Jesus that they
would be healed, and he walked... he got it. I'm not going to get into a debate
over faith vs. manipulation or "The mind is a powerful tool" etc...
But at 4 years old, having not done a bible lesson about miracles before (cause
I'm really not on top of the whole "teach your children" in many
ways... including bible stories and the alphabet lol) he just got it. So I also
prayed over his attitude and said "in the name of Jesus, I command the
spirit of sadness to leave, and I ask in Jesus name that the spirit of Joy fill
you". I told him, that now that I prayed it, he would be happy. And you
know what? He was, for the rest of the day actually now that I think about it.
I've avoided doing things like this because I don’t want to manipulate. But
trust me it was a last resort. If words could have changed his mood, it would
have already. And believe me, not wanting to manipulate is the reason this was
a step of faith for me to pray over and in front of my children... but anyways,
this leaves me with the assumption in faith, that God actually answered these
prayers.
So in my insomniac state, mulling over these day's events... I got out of my
bed, went to Josiah’s room with my home-made stretch-mark cream (which I prayed
over, asking God to make it Holy--yes, that's all it takes to create an
anointing oil you can use with authority) and crept over to his bed, and prayed
again over him. This time, anointing his head, his heart and his hands with
Holy oil (he's a heavy sleeper apparently). I declared the spirit of Joy to
rest on him, and the spirit of sadness to leave. I prayed hope and joy and
inspiration and other things over him. And as I type, more things are coming to
mind I ought to pray over him... This may become a regular occurrence.
I have a friend (ironically a single, non married, non-parent friend) who
taught me about my authority as a mother. She taught me that I have a God-given
authority over my children, as their mother. It comes through pregnancy and
Birth. It is awarded through adoption and fostering as well. That divine right
is transferred to those in care and authority over a child... What is this
authority? It's not one thing in general, it’s a very plural
authority...Authority over their bodies, over their minds, and authority over
their care... but the more un-known authority is over their soul... This is the
authority Satan tries to diminish. You see, we can speak things over our own
children that no one else can. As a mother, I have the God-given power to speak
things over my children. To declare them holy, to prophesy over them. If a marriage
is a representation of God and the church. Then motherhood is like one of the
great prophets and the Israelites. It's a huge responsibility we don’t accept.
And the reality is, whether we are aware of it or not, our authority remains
and we use it constantly. "Jonny is so gifted in music" "sally
is an angry child" etc... We declare things into existence every single
day, multiple times a day. The difference is most mothers are un-aware they are
doing it. We give spirits authority over our children, based on what we declare
over them. I am very guilty of declaring Josiah's insecurities over him, day
in, day out. But I am changing that, and I will declare him to be free of those
insecurities, and instead he will become a man of confidence, of inner Joy and
Peace that is quiet yet deafening to those who know him. I declare him to be
good with his hands, good in detail and in small tasks that are overlooked by
others.... Do you see what I am doing? If you believe in the authority of
Christ, Just give this notion even 5 minutes of true 100% thought and I think
you will agree with me here. A mother has authority over her children. And Satan
tries to make us forget this. When we forget, then we instinctively (as
sinners) declare Satan’s will over our children. How frightening! Let’s not be
un-aware anymore!
So that was party #2 tonight...
Party #3 was simply standing in our sun-room (cause I’m too chicken to be
outside alone at night, since all the ferocious rabid wolves will eat me... you
know, cause I’ve seen so much wildlife out here ;) ) Standing in our sun room,
smelling the living air again, and hearing the sounds of night... the nature in
me came alive. It smells like grass, like living organisms in the earth, like
moisture in the air. It smells like leaves beginning to bud forth on the
trees... it smells like dieing fires.... I could hear crickets, frogs, some
really odd sounding birds, likely an owl or two... coyotes etc... The
earth is alive again, and it’s WONDERFUL!!
And that brings us to party #4 which is just this blog right here. I don't
blog too often, but maybe that’s why I simply enjoy it when I do it. It's more
like a journal... and since I can think faster than I can hand-write, blogging
tends to be a better form of external processing for me :) You just are
fortunate enough to be privy to my personal thoughts! :) Motherhood doesn't
leave a lot of time for deep thinking, so it's nice to have a space to let it
out a bit.
Anyways, now that my mind's drifting thoughts are out on paper (or screen I
should say), I can feel my body relaxing enough to go back to sleep...
have a good night! :)
