Examine again!

no guilt allowed... 

Exit the world-  So God, please take my guilt from me now. I feel pretty bad for having not prayed for three whole days...today is day four! and now i am distracted..just like i have been all morning...ugh!!! Please help me focus and free me from Guilt. Help me come into your presence. Please forgive me and cleanse me so I can talk with you... Cleanse...I'm doing a 7 day cleanse soon! Maybe we can talk about that a bit later! It'd be neat to make it spiritual AND physical! Anyway, ya. you can remind me of this grand idea and give me your insight on it... huh? you want to give me your insight now? cool! I'll take it! I guess you also want me to post this on my blog don't you? I can tell by the way I'm writing this! Otherwise I'd just write your words down, but you're having me write only  mine.

So this detox then...oh? you mean we'll talk about it later, but still tody? aight! Lets move on in the Examen then!

Reviewing the day- I guess I have to review a FEW days...first of all, thank you for keeping me motivated to go to the gym! that has been awesome! I don't think i've ever been this regular at going, and it's neat that you're helping me that way when I'm trying hard not to ask for stuff...

Thanks also for inspiring me to receive your gift of marriage and a Husband...Thanks for helping me realize how much more seriously He has taken that gift than I have.  It's really good to know exactly what to work on right now...

And thanks for my health! for helping me get better! This winter has made me appreciate the gift of  health so much more, now that i've experienced having that gift taken from me for a longer period of time.

Pay attention to your emotions- I am much calmer now than I was at the beginning of the prayer. Part of that is probably my A.D.D. drugs kicking in, but part of that I know is peace from your spirit. Thank you Holy spirit for your forgiveness and grace. thanks for coming to meet me here.  I know you are all powerful and I don't deserve your blessings...but I know your favour rests on me! Thank you!

Evaluate my day- point by point, for yesterday (tuesday)

-  You were with me as I woke up with very little sleep.

-  you got me to the gym on time and helped me through my work out, with my asthma trying to stop me.

- you provided my bus RIGHT when i got outside! You knew it was cold! And my bus  only comes every 45 minutes so I know it was you!

- you gave me some time to relax at home before galivanting all day with amanda.

- you found me some fun stuff at MCC including my amazing tea cup!

- you gave my husband grace for my spending yesterday at cornelia bean :S oops...

- you gave me the opportunity to see Mike and Alyssa's baby again! God, new people are such a wonder, and seeing the love of a parent just makes me rejoice in your love for us.

-With the crazy road conditions, you gave Amanda and I safety, even though we could bairly see the roads and there were MANY stupid drivers!!!! (sorry, they aren't stupid...they just don't know how to drive well...)

-  you gave me a cheerful heart for my husband who was VERY tired in the evening!

- you also gave me awesome creativity and skill in the kitchen making supper!

- and...you gave me  A HUGE AND WONDERFUL night's rest!! thanks for that!!!

Now what?-- So what do you want for today? (or what's left of today...it's already 11:00...). You want me to enjoy your creation? your sunshine? cool!  So you want me to do the things I need to do, and then enjoy your creation... I think I can do that!! :)

30 day examen challenge

This past Sunday at church, the Pastor preached about how committed we are to our prayer lives. He gave us a challenge as he taught us about examining ourselves and our prayer lives. He talked a little bit about the 95 Theses nailed to the doors of the catholic church that changed Christianity forever. It's pretty intense how rude those statements actually are when you translate them from old-English to plain-ol' English! like... Martin Luther wrote and nailed to the wall a statement that said "The pope cannot forgive you your sins. He cannot take away any penalties given you by God...The pope does not have power to remove guilt from you, only God can"... In fact, he calls priests "ignorant and wicked" for exercising penance for purgatory and calling it biblical! He also said that "the dead are dead. they aren't bound to religious rules! (A.K.A. Purgetory is crap)".

So anyway, it was neat to hear some of those things in plain English. Here's a link to see the 95 Theses (not in contemporary English) if i've sparked your curiosity!

My plan with this blog post, is to share the 30 day challenge with you, and write it out for y'all to see!  The thirty day challenge is a challenge to examine ourselves every day, spending time with God. It's an evaluation of each day with God, and a way to see Him working in your life. Here's how it works!

- Become aware of God's presence (sense the spirit, get in "the zone")
- Review the day with gratitude (thank God for the stuff he did for you yesterday or today-depending which day you are examening-)
- pay attention to your emotions (or invite the spirit in...Be aware of what the spirit is doing in you right now)
- Evaluate the day (like...point by point, go through the entire day and see where God was in everything)
- Now what? (ask God what he want's you to do with what you've just evaluated. Is He putting anything on your heart?

So here I go! I'm just gonna pray it as it comes and write it all down!

Become Aware: God, please meet me here in this moment... speak to my heart and let me feel you in a very present way. God I want to sense you are here, and I want others to see you are rediculousely personal! Help me focus on you right now in this time. Please keep me from being distracted, and guide me as I examen yesterday.
Review the day with gratitude: God, yesterday thanks for giving me a relaxing day while I was sick. Thanks for giving me enough energy to do the tasks that needed to happen. You gave me more creativity to make cards! Thanks! Thanks for somehow giving me energy to apply for Jobs, and for carrying me as I found out that I didn't get the job in Little Grand Rapids... God, thanks for providing our supper and giving us time with our family in the evening! Thanks for giving us a place to relax and spend our evening. I think Curtis would've gone crazy if we were home all evening...after three days off of work... Speaking of which, thanks! I know you will provide for us! And God, I also thank you for the way you gave both Curtis and I patience amidst our exhaustion and sickness to communicate effectively and enhance our marriage. You really do bless us!

And...ya... Well you know i'm a little cheezed off for not getting this job up north. Especially cause I thought I heard from you that it was your will for me to go up north... I still have faith in that. I know you don't lie and I know I heard you. But I guess your plans will happen later! Thanks for being clear when I wasn't sure how to discern your will. I know you've got the perfect job in mind for me, and I am so grateful for the patience you have given me in waiting for that Job. You have kept me from utter discouragement, and have continued to motivate me in seeking out jobs. You are sharpening my interview and resume skills, keeping my writing skills and knowledge fresh until your job for me comes.

Pay attention to your emotions: Spirit... I can feel you encouraging me as I thank God, you....for my day. I love that I don't need to ask for anything, but merely thank you, and I know you will provide. I can sense your peace in my heart right now, and I know you've got everything under control. I sense your security and know that you will protect me from warfare. I sense you cleansing my heart, removing the estigma's in my spiritual eyes that I have acquired in the past 48 hours since I talked to you last. Thanks...please continue...

Evaluate the day:

•  God made it so I didn't have any commitments while I am sick
• He gave me enough energy for my tasks despite being sick
• God blessed me with creativity in my card making
• God motivated me to apply for jobs
• He comforted me in finding out I didn't get a specific job
• God provided supper for us when neither of us was up to cooking
• He gave us a relaxing evening with the harders who were also quite tired
• God guided my conversation with my husband in a way that lead to blessing our marriage instead of hurting it.

What now?: God, please direct me to do your will today... I feel as though you want me to take care of myself tonight... Interesting! Last time you told me to be selfless and take care of curtis, but tonight you are asking me to relax and care for myself.... hm! Well it's hard to say no to that request!

You also want me to support curtis and help him feel appreciated and respected...
Any specifics God? or is that just sort of in general?
I feel like you're saying "in general" but that something specific might come up! Hm! Well I will keep my eyes peeled!

Amen!


**well there you have it! An Examen! You know, the hardest part about doing it, is that there is no "requests" portion of the examen. You know how hard it is to JUST do the examen without making requests in the middle? it's pretty hard! I mean, it's not like I don't pray other times in the day, but it seems like when I take the time to get THIS personal with God, I should be alowed to ask for a thing or two! But I've been so blessed since I took up the challenge, just by thanking and appreciating my creator!

You know, when people around us just take time to be with us, appreciate us...and don't have requests, we actually tend to do MORE for them don't we? ...Just food for thought!

If you have actually kept reading till the end of this, then I encourage you to try the 30 day examen challenge! Write out your prayers for 30 days! You can do it! 6 days a week (one day off! Yay! you don't have to talk to God on one day! :P). Trust me, it'll be worth it!

possible job?

So! Life has been interesting lately... I have been sick for most of the winter, but this time (unlike at sbc) I haven't given up on God, or doubted him. I did get to a place of dispair however... I was sick and on prescription steroids for my lungs and antibiotics... My grandma had just passed away, and I didn't get the job I was interviewed for... Basically I felt like a useless soul. In that moment, God said "see!? now you have nothing left to surrender, so just give it all to me!"...

how pathetic right? how pathetic that it takes until i have absolutely NOTHING, to surrender to God... Incredible...

Anyway, a few months ago, I applied for a social work position in Little Grand Rapids first nations reserve. they e-mailed me with interest, but I didn't hear from them after that... well! yesterday I got a call and they would like to interview me! This position would involve me flying up north each Monday and coming back to Winnipeg each Friday night. They provide for your living expenses while you are out there too... It's a good deal, but I know it will be hard! Especially with my marriage. I know with discipline and God's blessings, this can be an extremely fruitful experience! I don't think i could do it for more than a year or two though...

anyway, in light of my interview, I wanted to learn more about the community! So I googled them and found some write-ups, but it just wasn't the same...I knew I needed to see some faces. I finally stumbled upon this blog post, which helped alot! LIGHT ABOUT MY PATH - LAMP: VBS in Little Grand Rapids, MB

So many faces and children. I can see the potential in the community through the way the people get involved in the programming! It makes me excited and I want to start praying for them!
Please pray with me that I get this position and that God's hand would work through it!

Social work is a difficult place to bring your faith in, especially in a First Nations setting. I know about the tremendous hurt these people have experienced at the hands of people who claimed to serve "my God"... Personally it feels like an impossible situation, because I don't feel any right to bring my faith into their community if it will only bring them more pain. I know God has a plan, and that's why He has asked me to surrender ALL to Him. He is the worker of the impossible and the healer of the broken. Only my God can heal people, and if He plans to use me, I will be ever-so-blessed along the way!

Thanks for your prayers!
- krysta