Grateful for a sleepless night

It's so interesting to have a sleepless night amidst nights of full rest. I don't mind it. Yes I'll be tired tomorrow and shooting back the coffee pretty hard, but I tend to be a bit more careful about how I act when I am fully aware of my own sleep deprivation. So chances are, I'll be a more patient mother, and may actually get something cleaned up! ;) I'm not sure why I'm having the sleeplessness... the last few full moons I’ve had a bit of insomnia though so maybe it's just that (I haven't actually checked if it's a full moon yet, lol let me confirm that first... well it's about a 3/4 full moon. so there goes that theory... oh well!).

Sammy woke up for no apparent reason around 12, so I got some midnight cuddles from him while I sang a good oldie. "The lord loves me, and oh what a wonder I see, a rainbow shines in my window the lord, loves, me...." Don't ask me why that's the one that came to mind, but I'm sure my mom will read this (aren't moms the best? reading our blogs lol!) and get a pretty serious "throw-back-Thursday" to all those asthma-riddled nights that she sang me this song.... anyways, so Sammy and I sat and rocked for a good 15 minutes looking out the window while my eyes played tricks on my hopeful mind which was pretending to see deer in the dim moonlight... you know, I have yet to see some legit wildlife out here!? I know it exists, but maybe I smell bad enough that it avoids me or something! :)

Once Sammy went back to bed, I did likewise. But the insomnia force is strong with me tonight... and so I prayed for rest...which made me think of other prayer requests such as my lovely Josiah who could easily be re-named "Ecclesiastes" lately. "Meaningless, meaningless, all is meaningless..." I swear that kid can find the negative angle on any situation! It's almost impressive really, if it weren't so draining and time consuming... But from what I have heard from several other moms, I am not alone in having a 3-5 year old who is capable of burning an afternoon to the ground. Maybe it's a stage of life, or maybe it’s a sign of a form of generational parenting that is failing...maybe it's both, but I am starting to also wonder if there might be a spirit of oppression over our impressionable children right now. Satan trying to stop a generation from certain growth in the spirit and in the kingdom. If he can just keep the moms tired enough, drained enough that they won’t answer the inquisitive spiritual questions of these little minds, maybe he can get them past the "why" stage without them finding Jesus... I used to resent coming to Christ at 3 years old, but owning a 2 and 4 year old have made me re-think that. Of course, it depends on the child. But Josiah asks many questions about all kinds of philosophical stuff. He gets that there is more to life. And quite honestly, when he was tantruming because (I kid you not, this was the reason) his legs stopped working, I picked him up, and prayed in the name of Jesus that they would be healed, and he walked... he got it. I'm not going to get into a debate over faith vs. manipulation or "The mind is a powerful tool" etc... But at 4 years old, having not done a bible lesson about miracles before (cause I'm really not on top of the whole "teach your children" in many ways... including bible stories and the alphabet lol) he just got it. So I also prayed over his attitude and said "in the name of Jesus, I command the spirit of sadness to leave, and I ask in Jesus name that the spirit of Joy fill you". I told him, that now that I prayed it, he would be happy. And you know what? He was, for the rest of the day actually now that I think about it. I've avoided doing things like this because I don’t want to manipulate. But trust me it was a last resort. If words could have changed his mood, it would have already. And believe me, not wanting to manipulate is the reason this was a step of faith for me to pray over and in front of my children... but anyways, this leaves me with the assumption in faith, that God actually answered these prayers.

So in my insomniac state, mulling over these day's events... I got out of my bed, went to Josiah’s room with my home-made stretch-mark cream (which I prayed over, asking God to make it Holy--yes, that's all it takes to create an anointing oil you can use with authority) and crept over to his bed, and prayed again over him. This time, anointing his head, his heart and his hands with Holy oil (he's a heavy sleeper apparently). I declared the spirit of Joy to rest on him, and the spirit of sadness to leave. I prayed hope and joy and inspiration and other things over him. And as I type, more things are coming to mind I ought to pray over him... This may become a regular occurrence.

I have a friend (ironically a single, non married, non-parent friend) who taught me about my authority as a mother. She taught me that I have a God-given authority over my children, as their mother. It comes through pregnancy and Birth. It is awarded through adoption and fostering as well. That divine right is transferred to those in care and authority over a child... What is this authority? It's not one thing in general, it’s a very plural authority...Authority over their bodies, over their minds, and authority over their care... but the more un-known authority is over their soul... This is the authority Satan tries to diminish. You see, we can speak things over our own children that no one else can. As a mother, I have the God-given power to speak things over my children. To declare them holy, to prophesy over them. If a marriage is a representation of God and the church. Then motherhood is like one of the great prophets and the Israelites. It's a huge responsibility we don’t accept. And the reality is, whether we are aware of it or not, our authority remains and we use it constantly. "Jonny is so gifted in music" "sally is an angry child" etc... We declare things into existence every single day, multiple times a day. The difference is most mothers are un-aware they are doing it. We give spirits authority over our children, based on what we declare over them. I am very guilty of declaring Josiah's insecurities over him, day in, day out. But I am changing that, and I will declare him to be free of those insecurities, and instead he will become a man of confidence, of inner Joy and Peace that is quiet yet deafening to those who know him. I declare him to be good with his hands, good in detail and in small tasks that are overlooked by others.... Do you see what I am doing? If you believe in the authority of Christ, Just give this notion even 5 minutes of true 100% thought and I think you will agree with me here. A mother has authority over her children. And Satan tries to make us forget this. When we forget, then we instinctively (as sinners) declare Satan’s will over our children. How frightening! Let’s not be un-aware anymore!

So that was party #2 tonight...

Party #3 was simply standing in our sun-room (cause I’m too chicken to be outside alone at night, since all the ferocious rabid wolves will eat me... you know, cause I’ve seen so much wildlife out here ;) ) Standing in our sun room, smelling the living air again, and hearing the sounds of night... the nature in me came alive. It smells like grass, like living organisms in the earth, like moisture in the air. It smells like leaves beginning to bud forth on the trees... it smells like dieing fires.... I could hear crickets, frogs, some really odd sounding birds, likely an owl or two...  coyotes etc... The earth is alive again, and it’s WONDERFUL!!

And that brings us to party #4 which is just this blog right here. I don't blog too often, but maybe that’s why I simply enjoy it when I do it. It's more like a journal... and since I can think faster than I can hand-write, blogging tends to be a better form of external processing for me :) You just are fortunate enough to be privy to my personal thoughts! :) Motherhood doesn't leave a lot of time for deep thinking, so it's nice to have a space to let it out a bit.

Anyways, now that my mind's drifting thoughts are out on paper (or screen I should say), I can feel my body relaxing enough to go back to sleep... have a good night! :)