Bah...you know, it's rediculousely easy to get lazy in this fight (the eternal one that is). Especially when it seems like your alone and on a completely different level than the rest of the people around you, in your relationship with christ...
I know it's the way Christ has designed me, and I've known it since childhood...I've always been on a different level... It's just really hard sometimes when your husband, your friends, church, work, occupational field etc... aren't necessarily with you, or even comprehending you...
I realize that may sound really prideful, but I guess it's my reality. I mean, who else around me has gone on a honeymoon with Christ, speaks in tongues, propheceyes, sees visions of things to come, hears radical requests from christ on a daily basis, and is constantly aware of the spiritual war that's going on? Who else around me fully and truly realizes that everything in this world is just a cheap plastic game that satan can break at any time? Who else around me see's what really truly matters?...and sees it ALL the time, not just during a theological reminder...
who else loses ALOT of sleep over these things, cries over them, and gets depressed about them? I think this is the worst place to be...surrounded by Christians, yet isolated in my faith because of my beliefs.
You know, when your eyes are opened to Christ, they suddenly become opened to the blindness of the church these days...
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Last night I had a worship practice with some of my college friends...seriously it took me almost half the practice to get into a zone of worship...to even remember that I could speak in tongues. Then when I did, it was pretty cool how God revealed to me that despite my laziness the last while (AKA losing heart and giving up, just trying to be like all the other good little Christians), His grace covered it. I don't have to spend a long while praying, or do some outlandish thing for his kingdom before He will fill me with the spirit. He just does it when I call.. He just forgives, and comes... it's great!
One of the songs we sang during our practice we sang "our god" by Christ Tomlin...oh boy what a powerful song. Suddenly, even though I didn't deserve to be gifted with the sensitivity of the spirit, I was. As the lady from Riverwood set up chairs, So were the demons. they were getting ready for the sunday services...meticulous preparation. As we began to declare this song (it's really hard to NOT mean these words when you're leading the song!) I could feel angry demons trying to shut me up. As we sang "and if our god is for us, then who could ever stop us, then what could stand against" I was litterally sing-shouting those words in the faces of demons as they trembled.... pretty cool stuff.... Haha then I insulted them in tongues!
Any demons listening , know this! OUR God is greater! OUR God is stronger! OUR God is higher than ANY other!
Anywho... those are the ramblings of this somewhat lazy heart...
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