Well clearly it's been a while since I have written in here! Life has been more hectic than before, and more hectic than I hope I ever have to deal with again in my life... Not that it wasn't worth it of course! Our son Josiah Steven Harder was born at 7:45 PM on January 21 2013.
On the 19'th (Saturday) I was forced to go in for induction, as my 24 hr urine came back with over 4X the amount of protein it had the week previous (went from 0.4 grams to 2.4 grams). This is a very big deal and meant that my kidneys were working very hard, and as a result, were letting important nutrients pass through my body instead of hanging on to them. This is very dangerous for me and my organs, and meant that Josiah had to come out as soon as possible.
So Saturday the 19'th we went into triage at St. B for induction. I had three Cervidels (a little disc they put by the cervix to help it start dilating during inductions). one cirvedel lasts 12 hrs, and they usually only give one, maybe two. My cirvix was very much not ready to have a baby, so they ended up doing three. A day and a half later, (21'st) they decided to try something called "the balloon"...
Now... Let me advise anyone who is pregnant or yet to have children... NEVER EVER get "the balloon!" Don't listen to them when they say it's not painful. It's a friggin' nightmare! In two hr's I went from Closed, posterior cirvix to 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced... (for anyone who has HAD a baby, you know that that is way too fast for that much progress... and believe me, I felt it!). I was dizzy and nauseated and very out of sorts (on top of the contraction pains). As soon as they took out the balloon, I was perfectly fine.
There was some bad stuff that started happening during "The Balloon". Every time I had a contraction, Josiah's heart rate would drop to almost unsafe levels. This is why they only left it in for two hrs. Usually they leave it for 10-12 hrs. When they took it out, Josiah's heart rate went back to a very healthy pattern.
They decided to start me on the Sinto (the drip... forced contraction juice). I got to about level 12, and was managing just fine, barely feeling the contractions at all. However, every time I had a contraction, Josiah's heart rate would dip again. Not as dangerously low, as the contractions were less severe. However, we made the ultimate decision to have a C-section, since it looked like it would ultimately lead there anyway. The Doctor said we could've kept trying and possibly had a normal delivery, however we were running the risk of having an emergency c-section and risking Josiah's health at the same time. It was a bit of a "no brainer" when we put all the pieces together.
So in I went, and out came Josiah! (having a spinal, is one of the weirdest things ever...not feeling anything but pressure is very odd!).
And that was the end of the beginning... The blessings and nightmares were about to start now...
Josiah came out at 5 lbs 2 oz, which is big enough not to need NICU. Initially they weren't going to send him. However, while they were stitching me up, one of the nurses noted he was grunting quite a lot. He ended up going to NICU for assistance with breathing and blood sugar levels. He had to be on a little forced air machine for the first 24 hrs or so, before he started being able to take in enough oxygen on his own (the timeline is a little hazey, as all the days run together a bit). Poor little guy was hooked up to so many wires and monitors and machines. A little IV in his tiny hand...
During his time in NICU, I was desperately trying to pump and express milk so he wouldn't end up on the "Evil nasty formula". In the end, my milk wasn't coming in as fast as he needed the calories, so we decided to give him formula. This was probably the best decision we could have made for him. Being that he was 36 weeks, but assessed as more of a 34 week developmental level (due to the placenta being too small), he required extra calories than the average newborn to get his strength up.
By the end of day two, close to midnight, they brought Josiah to our room! We had very little notice and very little sleep, so that was a sleepless night for us (but a happy one of course.
In the morning, we were preparing to go, since the Doctors told us we would likely be discharged. I was having some issues breathing (shortness of breath and a bit of chest pain with inhalation and exhalation), since the doctors cut all my Blood pressure medications off. The resident assessed me and basically did nothing, and told me to take my asthma puffers more. (my concern was that my blood pressures were still high, and I had a scare of fluid in my lungs earlier in the pregnancy due to high blood pressure).
Right before they released us, the pediatrician decided to do one final Bilirubin test (a test for Jaundice). The test came back and Josiah's jaundice was at a dangerously high level. He should've been re-admitted to NICU it was so high, however their NICU was full, and so they brought the blue light treatment equipment into our room. This was devastating to us for several reasons.
1) we thought we were going home, and now we weren't
2) we are first time parents, and were worried out of our minds.
3) Jaundice is related to how well some of his vital organs are booting up, so the fear of something fatal loomed in our minds
4) he wasn't eating as well, and we were worrying he was getting worse.
5) we were running on 48 hrs no sleep, starting day 3 of no sleep (and I mean none at all)
Curtis and I have never been so worried and upset. Curtis lost his appetite (believe it or not), I couldn't stop crying at all (stupid hormones), and my lungs kept getting worse. I was now wheezy and every inhalation was painful. But the doctor chose to discharge me anyway, with a blood pressure of 168/103... Interestingly, they never recorded my final blood pressure (says my public health nurse). Once discharged, there was nothing the medical staff could do for me. They were only caring for Josiah, and we were there solely as his parents.
Josiah was tested probably 8-9 times for Bilirubin counts. They poked his little foot so many times. I had to leave the room, because I would get so worked up when he started crying. (In the NICU, his oxygen levels would go down below 85% when he was crying, so I was always worried when he got upset). His little feet look like a porcupine got at them now.
At first, his Bilirubin went up by a couple numbers, but then slowly started to drop, and eventually plateaued at a safe level. Josiah was on the blue light therapy for about 24 hrs. They took him off of it the next morning, while I was in emerg... OH YES! THE STORY DOESN'T END HERE!!
So we are running now on... what is it 3 days no sleep at all? perfect. My lungs were still getting worse, and I ended up going to Obstetrical triage to try and get re-admitted. They wouldn't take me, and sent me to emergency instead. (The nurses on our ward actually filed a formal complaint against Obs. Triage for this as this was definitely a post-postpartum issue, and Emergency is full of dangerous viruses that I shouldn't be exposed to right now).
Anyway, I spent 9-4 in Emergency with no food, water, sleep or baby. Curtis texted me around 10:30 to let me know that Josiah had been taken off the blue light machine. By now my milk had come in and I had missed two feedings. So Josiah was getting formula when he could;ve been getting breast milk...
I ended up having a really bad anxiety attack. My blood pressure sky-rocketed to 203/116. They changed up my asthma puffers, and whacked me full of blood pressure medications (more meds than I was on in pregnancy). They wouldn't let me leave Emergency till my blood pressure dropped, but quite honestly, I knew my pressure wouldn't drop until I saw my baby, and could pump and do some skin-to-skin. This was one of the worst moments in my life. In this moment, I felt like Job. I genuinely wanted to curse God and see if it would make things any better. The previous day with the Jaundice situation had already taken EVERYTHING I had. I was running on less than Zero. I had No stamina, no faith left, no energy, no tact... nothing... There were moments I wanted to end it all. I actually wanted to just kill myself because I was such a wreck from lack of sleep, hormones and the whole situation.
Anyway, we had one of the best health care aids at the time and she brought down a breast pump and Josiah. Curtis came down too (he was upstairs caring for Josiah this whole time), and we made a little bit of "feng shue" so I could calm down enough to go back up to the ward.
Up we went...
I ended up having to be on Lorazepam in order to get sleep. Two nights and one afternoon dose later, many blood pressure medications later and more poking of Josiah's little foot, and we were eventually able to come home Monday January 28'th at around 8 PM.
Sleepless and exhausted, I was very nervous to take our little guy home... Nervous that we won't parent right, nervous that I will miss something. Nervous cause he is so fragile and barely eats his requirements... so many unknowns, so many worries, but I guess that's what parenting is...
We have been home two days now, and honestly, the whole newborn sleeping pattern is a breeze compared to what we went through. I am getting more sleep now than I have in the past 2 1/2 weeks. It's funny when people try and pretend they understand what we went through... as if it is just a typical new parent experience. "oh just wait" they say.... hah... Some people.. .I'm still a little bit off of course, but some people I just want to smack up-side the head... they have no idea...
Then there are others of you who bring me to tears, with all of your prayer support and encouraging e-mails and messages and texts. I haven't replied to many of them, but know that they all touched us, and were well received. We cannot thank you all enough for your prayers and supports through this difficult Journey.
It's not over of course. Josiah is still very fragile, and we have to be extremely cautious about who see's him. Anyone who has been sick or has ill family members cannot see him, and has to wait a week after recovery, in order to ensure Josiah isn't exposed to more than he needs to be. Curtis and I have to get some vaccines in order that we don't bring certain bugs into the home as well.
So please be patient, as we both want to just show off our little man to the world, but need to do so very slowly and cautiously. So far, only our parents have met him. We have to introduce him to his aunts and uncles yet, and then we would love to have people over.
We are open to supports from people, including prayer, meals, laundry, diapers etc... My c-section has been the least of our concerns, but still has a recovery period. I can't do stairs, and I still have to take it easy till my blood pressure goes back to normal.
Anyway, this has been quite long enough! Hope this helps keep you all updated!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
35 and 6 today
That's thirty five weeks and 6 days for those wondering about the title. That means tomorrow we are officially considered "term" by medical professionals. If we can hold things off a few days longer, it is highly likely that baby will not need to spend any/much time in the NICU which means we would be guarentee'd to deliver at St. B! (their NICU is pretty full, and over-flow of preemie deliveries go to HSC women's)
If my pressures stay stable this evening (my lunch reading was higher than normal for this week), then it will be a full week since I've had to go into triage for a BP spike! Wow! It's a miracle! If that's the case, I can also hopefully use that as leverage with my doctor, as grounds for not inducing me tomorrow.
My doctor had me complete a 24 hour urine test Thursday-Friday to test for protein in my urine (if there is protein in the urine it means your kidneys are working a lot harder than they have to, and they are accidentally allowing nutrients to filter out of the body that should otherwise stay.) In response they also test the protein levels in my blood as well as all kinds of other kidney and liver functioning levels. I did that blood work this morning. So far, my blood work has remained in a stable zone throughout the past three weeks (hard to believe it's only been 3 weeks sometimes), but my Protein has slowly been creeping up in the urine. Depending on these blood and urine results we may have to be induced tomorrow. So please pray that these results come back acceptably.
We would, of course, like to shoot for 37 weeks because that's even better, and closer to not being a "preemie", however I think it will take a lot of convincing and advocacy on our part to make it past tomorrow with our doctor, just because of how suddenly and severely my BP symptoms came on, back in December. If I have another spike in my BP it could be extremely serious (to my health, not the baby's. Baby is still peachy keen).I could potentially seizure, or experience kidney or liver failure. ...so... ya... that's pretty serious I guess.
On the bright side, either way at this point, our baby will be born after 36 weeks and that is 100% an answer to ours and your prayers. We thank you so much! We ask that you continue lifting us up in prayer over the next few days as our doctor decides what is best. Please pray for wisdom for our doctor, in knowing how to handle this coming week (weather to induce, let us wait, up my meds etc...). The "easy" solution for the doctor right now would be to induce, and that would be the grounds on which we would potentially challenge her call. So please pray for wisdom and discernment for us as well to know when to accept the doctor's decision and when to push back a bit harder.
The other thing that has been going on, is that this past Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights, I got little-to-no sleep (2-4 hrs broken apart). I know, I know what you're thinking "pregnancy insomnia"... I can guarantee you this was different. zero sleep, my body absolutely exhausted and not functioning, but refusing to even nap during the day yesterday... I was at the point where I was ready to call the doctor and say "GET THIS KID OUTTA ME NOW!!" We've been praying about this every night and I know some of you have been praying for this as well. I started to get pretty cynical with God... I still don't understand what purpose he could have had for the hell that this brought to me (i highly doubt hell could be much worse than what I was experiencing with the lack of sleep, blood pressure, bed rest, nurses coming every day etc... then curtis said "well in hell, you'd probably have to go through all that at -40 degrees or something"... he's right I guess, it COULD be worse...). Either way, I was angry at God prettymuch every night from about 1 AM-5 AM... Then yesterday when I couldn't even nap, I was VERY frustrated. My nurses and Doula suspect that this has more to do with my medication's side effects than with regular insomnia... and TRUST ME I tried everything... (your suggestions will only frustrate me at this point, because I have tried them all...)
I did manage to get SOME sleep last night though! Very broken sleep, but I got a bit none the less. I am very thankful to God for this, but still have the un-resolved "why" as to the past three nights... Plus... of all the nights to give me sleep, he picks the one I'm doing a 24 hr urine on!! (your body detoxes more in your sleep.... so mine would be working for 4 nights instead of one i imagine).
So I am genuinely nervous for my urine test results because of the lack-of-sleep...
Otherwise, I think we are actually ready to have a baby now! (as in, we have what we need for the hospital and maybe 2 days at home). We've got some preemie and newborn clothes, diapers, bottles (just in case), borrowing a car seat, a crib, a pump (thanks Bonnie!)... So for the short-term, things are looking good! We continue to receive meals monday-saturday which has been SUCH a blessing for both of us! It has relieved so much stress, and we want to say thank you to everyone who has helped out with that!!
And I know there are plenty of family and friends who have offered to help with meals as well. We will very likely call on you yet, after baby is born, so hold on to that enthusiasm!!
Anyways, I think that is all for now. This has been a pretty long post as it is.. Thanks for all your prayers and supportive comments! They mean a lot to us! We treasure them and are daily encouraged by your support! Keep it coming for the last few days here! We're in the home stretch!
If my pressures stay stable this evening (my lunch reading was higher than normal for this week), then it will be a full week since I've had to go into triage for a BP spike! Wow! It's a miracle! If that's the case, I can also hopefully use that as leverage with my doctor, as grounds for not inducing me tomorrow.
My doctor had me complete a 24 hour urine test Thursday-Friday to test for protein in my urine (if there is protein in the urine it means your kidneys are working a lot harder than they have to, and they are accidentally allowing nutrients to filter out of the body that should otherwise stay.) In response they also test the protein levels in my blood as well as all kinds of other kidney and liver functioning levels. I did that blood work this morning. So far, my blood work has remained in a stable zone throughout the past three weeks (hard to believe it's only been 3 weeks sometimes), but my Protein has slowly been creeping up in the urine. Depending on these blood and urine results we may have to be induced tomorrow. So please pray that these results come back acceptably.
We would, of course, like to shoot for 37 weeks because that's even better, and closer to not being a "preemie", however I think it will take a lot of convincing and advocacy on our part to make it past tomorrow with our doctor, just because of how suddenly and severely my BP symptoms came on, back in December. If I have another spike in my BP it could be extremely serious (to my health, not the baby's. Baby is still peachy keen).I could potentially seizure, or experience kidney or liver failure. ...so... ya... that's pretty serious I guess.
On the bright side, either way at this point, our baby will be born after 36 weeks and that is 100% an answer to ours and your prayers. We thank you so much! We ask that you continue lifting us up in prayer over the next few days as our doctor decides what is best. Please pray for wisdom for our doctor, in knowing how to handle this coming week (weather to induce, let us wait, up my meds etc...). The "easy" solution for the doctor right now would be to induce, and that would be the grounds on which we would potentially challenge her call. So please pray for wisdom and discernment for us as well to know when to accept the doctor's decision and when to push back a bit harder.
The other thing that has been going on, is that this past Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights, I got little-to-no sleep (2-4 hrs broken apart). I know, I know what you're thinking "pregnancy insomnia"... I can guarantee you this was different. zero sleep, my body absolutely exhausted and not functioning, but refusing to even nap during the day yesterday... I was at the point where I was ready to call the doctor and say "GET THIS KID OUTTA ME NOW!!" We've been praying about this every night and I know some of you have been praying for this as well. I started to get pretty cynical with God... I still don't understand what purpose he could have had for the hell that this brought to me (i highly doubt hell could be much worse than what I was experiencing with the lack of sleep, blood pressure, bed rest, nurses coming every day etc... then curtis said "well in hell, you'd probably have to go through all that at -40 degrees or something"... he's right I guess, it COULD be worse...). Either way, I was angry at God prettymuch every night from about 1 AM-5 AM... Then yesterday when I couldn't even nap, I was VERY frustrated. My nurses and Doula suspect that this has more to do with my medication's side effects than with regular insomnia... and TRUST ME I tried everything... (your suggestions will only frustrate me at this point, because I have tried them all...)
I did manage to get SOME sleep last night though! Very broken sleep, but I got a bit none the less. I am very thankful to God for this, but still have the un-resolved "why" as to the past three nights... Plus... of all the nights to give me sleep, he picks the one I'm doing a 24 hr urine on!! (your body detoxes more in your sleep.... so mine would be working for 4 nights instead of one i imagine).
So I am genuinely nervous for my urine test results because of the lack-of-sleep...
Otherwise, I think we are actually ready to have a baby now! (as in, we have what we need for the hospital and maybe 2 days at home). We've got some preemie and newborn clothes, diapers, bottles (just in case), borrowing a car seat, a crib, a pump (thanks Bonnie!)... So for the short-term, things are looking good! We continue to receive meals monday-saturday which has been SUCH a blessing for both of us! It has relieved so much stress, and we want to say thank you to everyone who has helped out with that!!
And I know there are plenty of family and friends who have offered to help with meals as well. We will very likely call on you yet, after baby is born, so hold on to that enthusiasm!!
Anyways, I think that is all for now. This has been a pretty long post as it is.. Thanks for all your prayers and supportive comments! They mean a lot to us! We treasure them and are daily encouraged by your support! Keep it coming for the last few days here! We're in the home stretch!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
end in sight
So I had a doctor's appointment today, and things are still going OK. She is still happy with all my lab results from the weekend, and is sending me for more testing on Friday. (i get to do another lovely 24 hr urine tomorrow-Friday... yay...) at least it's from home this time! After my blood work on Friday, she'll give me a call Saturday. Depending on the results I will either be induced on Saturday (my 36 week mark) or we will wait till my Dr. Appt on Tuesday if things look okay.
We are secretly hoping she will let us get to 37 weeks, but she didn't sound too positive on that. It sounds like she's either thinking this Saturday or Tuesday will be our induction. On the positive side (not that having a baby is a negative thing in any way), after 36 weeks and a couple days, we are guarenteed to be able to deliver at St. B, because baby may or may not require NICU care!!! That's pretty exciting news! We are still sort-of preparing ourselves for a worst-case scenario, especially since our baby's growth is in the 35'th percentile (on the smaller side of average), but we are praying for God's blessing on the situation.
In other news... I'm having a really rough time sleeping!! if you want to lift that up in prayer it would be appreciated! I'm getting a bit of a cold, so my nose is stuffed up. the air is too dry to breathe through my mouth, and I keep thinking about how important sleep is for baby and my blood pressure, that I get all anxious about falling asleep (how counter-productive, I know)... Since preggo's can't take sleeping pills, I'm at a loss of what to do (other than drink some warm milk). My Dr. Says insomnia is pretty normal at this stage of the pregnancy, so i'm not horribly worried, and at least I have all day to do absolutely nothing, if I don't sleep. Still though... two nights in a row being up till 4 AM then 2:30 AM when I tried to fall asleep at 10:30, is quite frustrating. Lack of sleep can increase blood pressure from my research, so i'm a bit anxious about the whole situation as a result of that.
Anyway, we will just keep taking things one day at a time! I've had two antinatal nurses tell me now, that parenting will actually feel easier than what I've been dealing with! haha we shall see. It's definately an encouragement though, that the future looks brighter than the present.
Thanks for all your continued prayers and support! We really appreciate it all, and DEFINITELY would not have made it this far without you! Please continue praying! We've got a count-down to Saturday now! 3 more sleeps till we're in the safe-zone! ,Please keep praying though. Every day is it's own day. Last night at supper my pressure was almost too high (like I almost had to go into hospital), so we are far from "in the clear". Every day is it's own battle. Every day is another victory and another step closer to the 36 week mark! Thanks again!
We are secretly hoping she will let us get to 37 weeks, but she didn't sound too positive on that. It sounds like she's either thinking this Saturday or Tuesday will be our induction. On the positive side (not that having a baby is a negative thing in any way), after 36 weeks and a couple days, we are guarenteed to be able to deliver at St. B, because baby may or may not require NICU care!!! That's pretty exciting news! We are still sort-of preparing ourselves for a worst-case scenario, especially since our baby's growth is in the 35'th percentile (on the smaller side of average), but we are praying for God's blessing on the situation.
In other news... I'm having a really rough time sleeping!! if you want to lift that up in prayer it would be appreciated! I'm getting a bit of a cold, so my nose is stuffed up. the air is too dry to breathe through my mouth, and I keep thinking about how important sleep is for baby and my blood pressure, that I get all anxious about falling asleep (how counter-productive, I know)... Since preggo's can't take sleeping pills, I'm at a loss of what to do (other than drink some warm milk). My Dr. Says insomnia is pretty normal at this stage of the pregnancy, so i'm not horribly worried, and at least I have all day to do absolutely nothing, if I don't sleep. Still though... two nights in a row being up till 4 AM then 2:30 AM when I tried to fall asleep at 10:30, is quite frustrating. Lack of sleep can increase blood pressure from my research, so i'm a bit anxious about the whole situation as a result of that.
Anyway, we will just keep taking things one day at a time! I've had two antinatal nurses tell me now, that parenting will actually feel easier than what I've been dealing with! haha we shall see. It's definately an encouragement though, that the future looks brighter than the present.
Thanks for all your continued prayers and support! We really appreciate it all, and DEFINITELY would not have made it this far without you! Please continue praying! We've got a count-down to Saturday now! 3 more sleeps till we're in the safe-zone! ,Please keep praying though. Every day is it's own day. Last night at supper my pressure was almost too high (like I almost had to go into hospital), so we are far from "in the clear". Every day is it's own battle. Every day is another victory and another step closer to the 36 week mark! Thanks again!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
A prayer
God, I'm glad you're responsible for this situation and not us. More and more i see how weak I am, how little i can tolerate, ow little faith and loyalty I really have... Even toward you... Forgive me God, I'm sorry for my weak spirit... My distracted nature and my desire to worship anything but you. God I want to only worship you. I don't want to worship this situation, this child or my husband. I want my worship to be yours alone. You are the only one who deserves it.
Jesus.... As I read your life, I am perplexed, astounded, grateful, in awe and full of questions... I don't know how to be like you at all, but I want to. Please be a patient teacher with me, and a hands-on, very involved instructor. Speak to me. Be my discernment and strength until... well... like I'll ever be strong enough really. But build me up for the life to come, so I can best serve you.
Man...this has been a long time in coming. Sorry for running Jesus, sorry ... so sorry... please give us a clean slate (you and me)... My first love, I am sorry... I'm sorry it takes such furstrating circumstances to draw me back. I'm sorry I require so many of your children's prayers to draw me back to you.
Please teach me to love you again. Teach me to worship. Teach me to... ugh... to serve. Teach me...humility. I know serving and humility will not go down easy, but please work gently with me.
With love,
Krysta
Jesus.... As I read your life, I am perplexed, astounded, grateful, in awe and full of questions... I don't know how to be like you at all, but I want to. Please be a patient teacher with me, and a hands-on, very involved instructor. Speak to me. Be my discernment and strength until... well... like I'll ever be strong enough really. But build me up for the life to come, so I can best serve you.
Man...this has been a long time in coming. Sorry for running Jesus, sorry ... so sorry... please give us a clean slate (you and me)... My first love, I am sorry... I'm sorry it takes such furstrating circumstances to draw me back. I'm sorry I require so many of your children's prayers to draw me back to you.
Please teach me to love you again. Teach me to worship. Teach me to... ugh... to serve. Teach me...humility. I know serving and humility will not go down easy, but please work gently with me.
With love,
Krysta
Sunday, January 13, 2013
day by day
Well it's been a bit of a crazy ride.
Thursday I was doing pretty good with my blood pressure. I had an appointment with Dr. Ring, and things were doing the same as they had been the past week and a half, alright but still day by day. Dr. Ring still seemed confident we'd make it to 36 weeks, but less confident we could get to 37 for sure.
By the evening, my blood pressure readings were still alright (and by "alright I mean 142/93 when 150/100 forces me to go to triage). I went to bed at 10, and from 10-2 AM every time I was almost asleep I would wake up gasping for air. My breathing was extremely shallow and when I would get tired and into that sort-of reflex breathing we do when we sleep, I clearly wasn't getting enough oxygen...
Frustrated, I called the Dr on call who advised that I needed to go into the hospital. When I called St. B to let them know I was coming, they advised me that their NICU was full and I would have to attend HSC women's just incase they were forced to induce me...
So off we went to Womens! I gotta say, St. B's Triage is way better organized, not to mention cleaned more often... We were there till about 5 AM when I sent curtis home cause they said it would be at least another 3 hrs to get a chest X-ray done. So Curtis left and I got the chest X-ray which showed that I had some fluid in my lungs. They decided to admit me, but admitted me to St. Boniface since that's where I intend to deliver.
By the time I got to St. B it was about 10 AM on Friday morning. I spent the last two days and nights in St. B, sharing a room with a woman who recently immigrated from somewhere in africa. All I know is she speaks no english, and pee's all over the toilet seat!!! (Very annoying to have to put on gloves and dis-infect the seat EVERY time you need to pee)...
While I was in St. B, they changed my meds around. I saw a few Dr's and everyone seems to have their own idea about what to do. My Dr. Popped in too and started to go over the benefits of delivering a more pre-mature (but healthy) baby now, vs, a more mature but sickly baby later... Then I saw the Dr. On call who seemed to want to induce me, but said they would have to do that at HSC since the NICU is full at St. B. I pleaded with her cause after my triage visit, i really didn't want to go back to Womens (Not to mention the likelihood of running into clients while there). She was compliant and said that it would be based on my bloodwork and 24 hr urine sample.
The bloodwork came back normal (they check enzymes in your kidney and liver to see if they are elevated/working harder). The urine came back higher in protien, but on the lower end of elevated. The Dr on call said she expected this, given the fluid in my lungs. She says with high blood pressure, your blood vessles lose protien and leak fluid. This is what causes a person to swell. This fluid can leak anywhere including the lungs. So given that there was fluid there, she was expectant that there would be protien showing up.
After these results, I waited anxiousely for about 24 hrs, praying and waiting impatiently... no one really gave me an explanation. I was being lead to believe I'd be in the hospital till i would be induced now, but then suddenly this morning, a nurse came in and announced I would be discharged this afternoon! No real explanation... I guess my bloodwork was good, urine was within an acceptable range, and my pressures were steadily lower (140's/80's) since they changed my meds around (cut this, added that... it's a whole cocktail now).
I'm 35 weeks and one day. If I can make it till next Saturday I will be doing good! I'd still like to try for 37 weeks, but I'm not sure if they will even let me get there. Even getting to this saturday could be a challenge. It's day by day, and we need your prayers now more than ever.
Any little symptom could mean my body is starting to shut down under the strain of my blood pressure, and they will induce immediately. There will be very little give-and-take at this point, and more-or-less they will just get the baby out. Please pray that God will continue to keep my body stable and allow this baby to keep growing.
Whether baby comes now or in a week, he will end up having a stay in the NICU. buying some time may mean we can deliver at St. B instead of Women's, and that he would have to spend less time in the NICU, and his lungs will be stronger. That is the main concern (lung development) at this point. If he were born today, he would still be a very healthy boy after some time in the NICU.
Thursday I was doing pretty good with my blood pressure. I had an appointment with Dr. Ring, and things were doing the same as they had been the past week and a half, alright but still day by day. Dr. Ring still seemed confident we'd make it to 36 weeks, but less confident we could get to 37 for sure.
By the evening, my blood pressure readings were still alright (and by "alright I mean 142/93 when 150/100 forces me to go to triage). I went to bed at 10, and from 10-2 AM every time I was almost asleep I would wake up gasping for air. My breathing was extremely shallow and when I would get tired and into that sort-of reflex breathing we do when we sleep, I clearly wasn't getting enough oxygen...
Frustrated, I called the Dr on call who advised that I needed to go into the hospital. When I called St. B to let them know I was coming, they advised me that their NICU was full and I would have to attend HSC women's just incase they were forced to induce me...
So off we went to Womens! I gotta say, St. B's Triage is way better organized, not to mention cleaned more often... We were there till about 5 AM when I sent curtis home cause they said it would be at least another 3 hrs to get a chest X-ray done. So Curtis left and I got the chest X-ray which showed that I had some fluid in my lungs. They decided to admit me, but admitted me to St. Boniface since that's where I intend to deliver.
By the time I got to St. B it was about 10 AM on Friday morning. I spent the last two days and nights in St. B, sharing a room with a woman who recently immigrated from somewhere in africa. All I know is she speaks no english, and pee's all over the toilet seat!!! (Very annoying to have to put on gloves and dis-infect the seat EVERY time you need to pee)...
While I was in St. B, they changed my meds around. I saw a few Dr's and everyone seems to have their own idea about what to do. My Dr. Popped in too and started to go over the benefits of delivering a more pre-mature (but healthy) baby now, vs, a more mature but sickly baby later... Then I saw the Dr. On call who seemed to want to induce me, but said they would have to do that at HSC since the NICU is full at St. B. I pleaded with her cause after my triage visit, i really didn't want to go back to Womens (Not to mention the likelihood of running into clients while there). She was compliant and said that it would be based on my bloodwork and 24 hr urine sample.
The bloodwork came back normal (they check enzymes in your kidney and liver to see if they are elevated/working harder). The urine came back higher in protien, but on the lower end of elevated. The Dr on call said she expected this, given the fluid in my lungs. She says with high blood pressure, your blood vessles lose protien and leak fluid. This is what causes a person to swell. This fluid can leak anywhere including the lungs. So given that there was fluid there, she was expectant that there would be protien showing up.
After these results, I waited anxiousely for about 24 hrs, praying and waiting impatiently... no one really gave me an explanation. I was being lead to believe I'd be in the hospital till i would be induced now, but then suddenly this morning, a nurse came in and announced I would be discharged this afternoon! No real explanation... I guess my bloodwork was good, urine was within an acceptable range, and my pressures were steadily lower (140's/80's) since they changed my meds around (cut this, added that... it's a whole cocktail now).
I'm 35 weeks and one day. If I can make it till next Saturday I will be doing good! I'd still like to try for 37 weeks, but I'm not sure if they will even let me get there. Even getting to this saturday could be a challenge. It's day by day, and we need your prayers now more than ever.
Any little symptom could mean my body is starting to shut down under the strain of my blood pressure, and they will induce immediately. There will be very little give-and-take at this point, and more-or-less they will just get the baby out. Please pray that God will continue to keep my body stable and allow this baby to keep growing.
Whether baby comes now or in a week, he will end up having a stay in the NICU. buying some time may mean we can deliver at St. B instead of Women's, and that he would have to spend less time in the NICU, and his lungs will be stronger. That is the main concern (lung development) at this point. If he were born today, he would still be a very healthy boy after some time in the NICU.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Well it's been an eventful few days. My last trip to St. B ended up with me on max
doses of both my meds. My pressures yesterday were surprisingly good! The only problem was that i would wake up
from my naps feeling winded. Last night i tried to sleep for 4 hrs, but every
time i was almost asleep i would start gasping for air. St. B instructed me to
go to HSC women's because St. B's NICU was too full if i had to be
induced. Man... I am glad we went with
St. B...
The summary is that they found fluid in my lungs which
they believe is related to the Blood pressure. They admitted me and sent me
back to
St. B. here i am,
and still haven't slept.
Baby is doing good though and my blood pressure is still
behaving.
They are tweaking my meds (cutting lebatolol in half and
adding some hydralozine). They expect
this to help the lungs out.
We're not sure what will all happen but i am definately
in for another. Night, maybe more. Now
that my body is being affected by the blood pressure, they are far more likely
to induce me pre-term (before
36 weeks). I only
have 8 days till 36 weeks and i am hoping they will hold on with me for that
time.
Please keep us both in your prayers, especially curtis,
with work and back-and-forth trips to the hospital.
Thanks!
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
back in we go
I just thought I'd write a quick blog entry in case I get admitted and don't provide an update for a few days.
The past couple of days my pressure has been hovering pretty high, and doesn't seem to be responding well to medications. My dose of Lebatolol was maxed (400mg 4X a day) this afternoon, but my supper reading was still 147/102, and now I have to go into the hospital.
We're not sure what will happen. We are hoping they just run their tests, and monitor baby for a while and let us go home, but we can't be sure. At this point my meds are so close to the maximum dosages that anything could happen.
Before this is all over, I will likely end up admitted to the hospital for observation until induction occurs. We are just buying time at this point.
Please keep us in your prayers, as this is a frustrating and tiring situation for both of us. We know God's already got this all worked out in his plans, so we aren't afraid of what will happen, but we are just frustrated with the unknowns. Sometimes it is hard to keep having faith that God loves our little man more than we do, and is looking out for him. we KNOW this to be true, but doubt has it's way of creeping in.
The past couple of days my pressure has been hovering pretty high, and doesn't seem to be responding well to medications. My dose of Lebatolol was maxed (400mg 4X a day) this afternoon, but my supper reading was still 147/102, and now I have to go into the hospital.
We're not sure what will happen. We are hoping they just run their tests, and monitor baby for a while and let us go home, but we can't be sure. At this point my meds are so close to the maximum dosages that anything could happen.
Before this is all over, I will likely end up admitted to the hospital for observation until induction occurs. We are just buying time at this point.
Please keep us in your prayers, as this is a frustrating and tiring situation for both of us. We know God's already got this all worked out in his plans, so we aren't afraid of what will happen, but we are just frustrated with the unknowns. Sometimes it is hard to keep having faith that God loves our little man more than we do, and is looking out for him. we KNOW this to be true, but doubt has it's way of creeping in.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Fetal Assessment
The last few days have been more un-eventful and good! Curtis and I discovered that if he takes my blood pressure, then it ends up being lower. this is because I work myself up when I do it myself, and it ends up reading falsely high due to my anxiety. My pressures have stayed in the appropriate range, since we discovered this, and this will be our second full day of no hospital visit (for high blood pressure that is... I DID have a fetal assessment today).
When I say reasonable, the bottom number is still in the 90's, so we're not down to a normal blood pressure reading or anything, just enough to keep me out of the hospital. Right now, I'll take what I can get!
Yesterday we had a meeting with our Doula. I am glad we have her on board, she will be good at preparing us for our induced labor (and how it will be different from a natural labor), and explaining everything that will be going on. She'll help us know what we can question, what rights we have, what choices we have with our little preemie etc... It relieves a lot of anxiety knowing we have an advocate on our side. It also gives us back a sense of control in a bit of a helpless situation.
Today we had our second fetal assessment! There are two pictures below. The first is from last Monday's assessment, and is a shot with baby's face (he kind of has his arm across his right eye, like he's trying to cover his face). The second picture is from today and is a nice close up of his face. Same situation. It looks like a shadow but he likes to put his arms across his face (He's saying "no pictures please!"). Both fetal assessments indicated that he is healthy and doing well!
Again we say thanks for all the prayers, and we continue to ask for continued prayers as things are starting to stabilize! We aren't out of the danger zone, and we hope you will keep praying with us even though things are looking better now! We still have a few weeks to go, and your prayers are very important in carrying us through that.
I've had people asking if there are other ways they can support us. At this time our care group and church meals ministry is providing us with meals 6 days a week, so that part is covered. I am also not open to visitors at this time because it raises my blood pressure to have company over. It doesn't really matter who it is, even family can do that. It's nothing personal, it's just a game I have to play for the next few weeks. Once we have our little bundle of joy, we'll still need support (and we still won't be prepared or have things together, since I can't do any running around) so I invite visitors at that time! Plus, then there will be someone cute to look at.
I've also had people calling and e-mailing to check in, requesting personal responses back. I appologize if I don't respond, but this is why I started this blog. As you can imagine, both Curtis and I are very exhausted these days, and don't have the energy to keep up with everyone's inqureys. I am re-directing people to this blog as it is an easy way for me to keep everyone updated at once! We love and appreciate all the concerns and inquireys, and I hope no one is offended by a lack-of-response or by these comments! I'd love to respond to every phone call and text, but right now I just need to be relaxing. And again, the most important thing people can be doing for us is prayer. We can feel the effects of this, and it is an incomparable support during this situation.
Thanks again for all the prayers and concerns!
When I say reasonable, the bottom number is still in the 90's, so we're not down to a normal blood pressure reading or anything, just enough to keep me out of the hospital. Right now, I'll take what I can get!
Yesterday we had a meeting with our Doula. I am glad we have her on board, she will be good at preparing us for our induced labor (and how it will be different from a natural labor), and explaining everything that will be going on. She'll help us know what we can question, what rights we have, what choices we have with our little preemie etc... It relieves a lot of anxiety knowing we have an advocate on our side. It also gives us back a sense of control in a bit of a helpless situation.
Today we had our second fetal assessment! There are two pictures below. The first is from last Monday's assessment, and is a shot with baby's face (he kind of has his arm across his right eye, like he's trying to cover his face). The second picture is from today and is a nice close up of his face. Same situation. It looks like a shadow but he likes to put his arms across his face (He's saying "no pictures please!"). Both fetal assessments indicated that he is healthy and doing well!
Again we say thanks for all the prayers, and we continue to ask for continued prayers as things are starting to stabilize! We aren't out of the danger zone, and we hope you will keep praying with us even though things are looking better now! We still have a few weeks to go, and your prayers are very important in carrying us through that.
I've had people asking if there are other ways they can support us. At this time our care group and church meals ministry is providing us with meals 6 days a week, so that part is covered. I am also not open to visitors at this time because it raises my blood pressure to have company over. It doesn't really matter who it is, even family can do that. It's nothing personal, it's just a game I have to play for the next few weeks. Once we have our little bundle of joy, we'll still need support (and we still won't be prepared or have things together, since I can't do any running around) so I invite visitors at that time! Plus, then there will be someone cute to look at.
I've also had people calling and e-mailing to check in, requesting personal responses back. I appologize if I don't respond, but this is why I started this blog. As you can imagine, both Curtis and I are very exhausted these days, and don't have the energy to keep up with everyone's inqureys. I am re-directing people to this blog as it is an easy way for me to keep everyone updated at once! We love and appreciate all the concerns and inquireys, and I hope no one is offended by a lack-of-response or by these comments! I'd love to respond to every phone call and text, but right now I just need to be relaxing. And again, the most important thing people can be doing for us is prayer. We can feel the effects of this, and it is an incomparable support during this situation.
Thanks again for all the prayers and concerns!
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Spiritual perspective
Well, after yesterday's post I took my blood pressure and ended up having to go to the hospital... We were there till 4:00 in the morning, which was not fun. The doctor increased my Adelat to another 30 mg dose in the evening. This will be a good thing in my opinion actually. Adelat is a long-acting drug. It takes a few days to see any change, but the effects are more stable. The other drug (lebatolol) is like the tylenol of blood pressure medications. Fast acting and wears off at different rates for different people. I personally don't think the Lebatolol does much for me, considering how high a dose I'm on. The Adelat however, has changed my afternoon readings to being stable and a bit lower.
Now I have a dose of Adelat in the afternoon to help carry me through the evening. I've learned (through hospital visits) that my pressure goes down in the wee hours of the morning on it's own, so as long as I can control it for the supper/evening readings, I'll be doing alright.
Correction though. I can't control it. God can.
Today pastor Duane and his wife Patricia from Riverwood Church came to our home to lay hands on us and pray with us. It was a very touching moment. Both Curtis and I realized how much we needed that, and how much our home needed it. It's hard sometimes to remember to fill our home with prayer, even at the best of times. But it does make a difference. My Blood Pressure readings were still initally higher afterwords, but the difference was a sense of peace about the situation, because God already knows everything that will be happening with my body, with this baby etc...
Patricia also gave me a word: "the joy of the Lord will be your strength"... It was an interesting thing to say, and to some, it may just sound "fluffy", but there's more to it. This morning the devotion I read was about doing everything for God's glory and what that means. God's been giving me a bit of a theme today with this. So now I have moments where I ask God to give me his joy... Then I'm filled with this sense of peace. I think about the completion of Christ's plan, God's joy and delight when people turn to him or praise him or spend time with him, the freedom and victory we have in Christ over the evil one (or "the creep" as they call him in women's ministry).
It was an interesting word to receive in this time, but it does bring me peace. It didn't work to take down my blood pressure, but even so, If I ended up going back in, it would be with more peace, and faith in God's plans.
I think I need to be pursuing God more during this time. It's funny, we say we don't have time to do all the spiritual enrichment we'd like to do. well I've had nothing but time for 8 days now, and I've picked up my bible maybe 3 times for a lenth of ... perhaps 5-10 minutes each. Pretty sad. I think sometimes we make up excuses, and that's all their is to it.
Baby is doing well today. Hyper, starting to take up more space it feels like... He seems to enjoy bouncing on my bladder quite a bit too! Our Doula told us not to drink fruit juices cause it makes for big babies... So haha! now I'm adding Orange Juice to my daily routine. Gonna bulk up that baby!!
I decided to do my "bed time" reading earlier in the evening when my meds are more effective, so tonight, I'm for SURE not going to the hospital. What a releif!
Thanks for your continued prayers!
Now I have a dose of Adelat in the afternoon to help carry me through the evening. I've learned (through hospital visits) that my pressure goes down in the wee hours of the morning on it's own, so as long as I can control it for the supper/evening readings, I'll be doing alright.
Correction though. I can't control it. God can.
Today pastor Duane and his wife Patricia from Riverwood Church came to our home to lay hands on us and pray with us. It was a very touching moment. Both Curtis and I realized how much we needed that, and how much our home needed it. It's hard sometimes to remember to fill our home with prayer, even at the best of times. But it does make a difference. My Blood Pressure readings were still initally higher afterwords, but the difference was a sense of peace about the situation, because God already knows everything that will be happening with my body, with this baby etc...
Patricia also gave me a word: "the joy of the Lord will be your strength"... It was an interesting thing to say, and to some, it may just sound "fluffy", but there's more to it. This morning the devotion I read was about doing everything for God's glory and what that means. God's been giving me a bit of a theme today with this. So now I have moments where I ask God to give me his joy... Then I'm filled with this sense of peace. I think about the completion of Christ's plan, God's joy and delight when people turn to him or praise him or spend time with him, the freedom and victory we have in Christ over the evil one (or "the creep" as they call him in women's ministry).
It was an interesting word to receive in this time, but it does bring me peace. It didn't work to take down my blood pressure, but even so, If I ended up going back in, it would be with more peace, and faith in God's plans.
I think I need to be pursuing God more during this time. It's funny, we say we don't have time to do all the spiritual enrichment we'd like to do. well I've had nothing but time for 8 days now, and I've picked up my bible maybe 3 times for a lenth of ... perhaps 5-10 minutes each. Pretty sad. I think sometimes we make up excuses, and that's all their is to it.
Baby is doing well today. Hyper, starting to take up more space it feels like... He seems to enjoy bouncing on my bladder quite a bit too! Our Doula told us not to drink fruit juices cause it makes for big babies... So haha! now I'm adding Orange Juice to my daily routine. Gonna bulk up that baby!!
I decided to do my "bed time" reading earlier in the evening when my meds are more effective, so tonight, I'm for SURE not going to the hospital. What a releif!
Thanks for your continued prayers!
Friday, January 4, 2013
One day at a time
Well I guess I've started something now (letting people know about this blog). I've actually been blogging here for a while, but never took the time to share it. Writing and knowing people are actually reading this is kind of a new concept for me. This is definately the easiest way to try and keep you all informed and updated on our prayer requests and needs. Thanks so much for all your support!
Curtis and I have had some ups and downs over the past couple days. Yesterday my blood pressure started pretty high in the morning. I had a doctor's appointment which means I was up and out of the house. I think this was just enough excitement for my body that it put me over the edge. By my bedtime blood pressure I was 156/108, and I'm supposed to go in at 150/100... So at 10:00, curtis and I got ready to go to the obstetrical triage. We were there till 2:00 this morning. They got me to take my next dose of Labetolol an hour early and it seemed to calm things down. Please pray for Curtis. This was VERY hard on him as he had to be at work for 7:30 the next morning (i'm forcing him to take a nap right now... 2 hrs 20 minutes so far!).
The fun part was, now that this was my 4'th visit, and they do blood work every time I go, my arms are starting to look like little pin cushions. I also had bloodwork at my doctor's appointment... So last evening, the nurses blew both of my veins trying to get blood. 7 pokes in 7 days (4 of those pokes were yesterday). My arms hurt and are bruised... Then AFTER they mutilate me, I am informed that I could technically have refuse the blood work.
Now that they have 4 blood tests (all showing in one week that my liver and kidneys are fine), it seems to me like they should lay-off on the stabbing part... but no, apparently the levels they test for, are things that can change in hours with a spike in high blood pressure, not days. When your blood pressure is dangerously high, it can put significant strain on your other organs, and this is why they test every time I come in with a high blood pressure reading. Fortunately for me, my blood work has always come back okay. I thank God for this.
Today I've been laying low, and it's been nice (and boring). I've been on the couch all day, laying down for most of the time. Its a lot easier to do nothing when you only get 3-4 hrs sleep at night... Maybe I need to start staying up late intentionally! (just kidding). Please pray that I can maintain this low level of activity. A day here and there on bed rest seems fine, but the thought of 2-3 more weeks of just laying there not only sounds daunting, but goes against everything I know about being healthy. It's very hard for me (not to mention I have UN-medicated A.D.D. right now!).
I also contacted my church yesterday, and I know the prayer ministry is praying for me. I can feel everyone's prayers, and want to say thank you. They are carrying us in a huge way, and I am sure that your prayers are why I am able to relax. This on-going battle is just starting. I'm 34 weeks tomorrow and I need to get to 36 weeks. That's two more weeks of back-and-forth, blood pressure monitoring, daily nurse visits, medicinal changes, bed rest (and not to mention a crazy amount of responsibility for curtis). Just because today was a good day doesn't mean tomorrow will be. In fact, we have a church pastor coming over tomorrow to pray over us (I can sense some oppression in this situation), and I suspect that will raise my blood pressure, just having someone else in the house. Phone calls are often enough to raise my blood pressure let alone company.
Don't get me wrong, I love you all, but when my GOOD blood pressure is a 95 and a 100 gets me in the hospital, you can see how little wiggle room I have to work with here... The whole situation is very stressful to deal with on a regular basis. Fortunately I've been behaving today, and God has been working in my body. My pressures have stayed in the mid 130's over 94-96 range all day! Please pray this continues tonight, and into the weekend.
Baby of course, is doing fine. He's kicking a little bit less, but still kicking more than what the nurses have told me is average (avg is 3 hard kicks an hour, and baby is allowed to have periods of 90 minutes with no activity--sleeping). This baby is rarely still longer than an hr and who knows, really, because I'm usually asleep for part of that hour! He likes to kick and move around. Whenever the nurses put the doppler up to him, he moves about (probably doesn't like the thing), so at least they get a good sense that he's active.
One day at a time,
one prayer at a time,
one pressure at a time...
We'll get through this. God loves us and loves our child. He wants what is best for us, and desires to give good gifts to his children. We have faith that God has a big plan for all of this, and will keep our little boy safe.
Thanks again, for your continued prayers. They are carrying us, and giving us the faith to believe with confidence, what I just wrote.
Curtis and I have had some ups and downs over the past couple days. Yesterday my blood pressure started pretty high in the morning. I had a doctor's appointment which means I was up and out of the house. I think this was just enough excitement for my body that it put me over the edge. By my bedtime blood pressure I was 156/108, and I'm supposed to go in at 150/100... So at 10:00, curtis and I got ready to go to the obstetrical triage. We were there till 2:00 this morning. They got me to take my next dose of Labetolol an hour early and it seemed to calm things down. Please pray for Curtis. This was VERY hard on him as he had to be at work for 7:30 the next morning (i'm forcing him to take a nap right now... 2 hrs 20 minutes so far!).
The fun part was, now that this was my 4'th visit, and they do blood work every time I go, my arms are starting to look like little pin cushions. I also had bloodwork at my doctor's appointment... So last evening, the nurses blew both of my veins trying to get blood. 7 pokes in 7 days (4 of those pokes were yesterday). My arms hurt and are bruised... Then AFTER they mutilate me, I am informed that I could technically have refuse the blood work.
Now that they have 4 blood tests (all showing in one week that my liver and kidneys are fine), it seems to me like they should lay-off on the stabbing part... but no, apparently the levels they test for, are things that can change in hours with a spike in high blood pressure, not days. When your blood pressure is dangerously high, it can put significant strain on your other organs, and this is why they test every time I come in with a high blood pressure reading. Fortunately for me, my blood work has always come back okay. I thank God for this.
Today I've been laying low, and it's been nice (and boring). I've been on the couch all day, laying down for most of the time. Its a lot easier to do nothing when you only get 3-4 hrs sleep at night... Maybe I need to start staying up late intentionally! (just kidding). Please pray that I can maintain this low level of activity. A day here and there on bed rest seems fine, but the thought of 2-3 more weeks of just laying there not only sounds daunting, but goes against everything I know about being healthy. It's very hard for me (not to mention I have UN-medicated A.D.D. right now!).
I also contacted my church yesterday, and I know the prayer ministry is praying for me. I can feel everyone's prayers, and want to say thank you. They are carrying us in a huge way, and I am sure that your prayers are why I am able to relax. This on-going battle is just starting. I'm 34 weeks tomorrow and I need to get to 36 weeks. That's two more weeks of back-and-forth, blood pressure monitoring, daily nurse visits, medicinal changes, bed rest (and not to mention a crazy amount of responsibility for curtis). Just because today was a good day doesn't mean tomorrow will be. In fact, we have a church pastor coming over tomorrow to pray over us (I can sense some oppression in this situation), and I suspect that will raise my blood pressure, just having someone else in the house. Phone calls are often enough to raise my blood pressure let alone company.
Don't get me wrong, I love you all, but when my GOOD blood pressure is a 95 and a 100 gets me in the hospital, you can see how little wiggle room I have to work with here... The whole situation is very stressful to deal with on a regular basis. Fortunately I've been behaving today, and God has been working in my body. My pressures have stayed in the mid 130's over 94-96 range all day! Please pray this continues tonight, and into the weekend.
Baby of course, is doing fine. He's kicking a little bit less, but still kicking more than what the nurses have told me is average (avg is 3 hard kicks an hour, and baby is allowed to have periods of 90 minutes with no activity--sleeping). This baby is rarely still longer than an hr and who knows, really, because I'm usually asleep for part of that hour! He likes to kick and move around. Whenever the nurses put the doppler up to him, he moves about (probably doesn't like the thing), so at least they get a good sense that he's active.
One day at a time,
one prayer at a time,
one pressure at a time...
We'll get through this. God loves us and loves our child. He wants what is best for us, and desires to give good gifts to his children. We have faith that God has a big plan for all of this, and will keep our little boy safe.
Thanks again, for your continued prayers. They are carrying us, and giving us the faith to believe with confidence, what I just wrote.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
A Baby update
Boy since the 28'th of December, it seems like life hasn't stopped for even a moment!
For those who missed my last post and aren't sure what has been going on for Curtis and I lately: December 28'th I went to my OBGYN for my regular appointment and my blood pressure was 150/90 (quite high). Long and short, I spent the night in the hospital and ended up on blood pressure medication. I went home and then December 30'th a home-care nurse came to check on me and my Pressure was 152/106 (very very high) and I had to go back into the hospital. I stayed overnight again and they put me on more meds...
So now I'm on a moderately high dose of Blood pressure medication (Adalat 60 Mg once a day, and Labetolol 300 Mg 3X a day). The max dose of Labetolol they can give me is 2400 and right now I'm at 900 so they can pretty much double what I'm on before having to induce me to get baby out. (that is assuming my kidney's don't crap out first, and baby isn't being affected by my high blood pressure)
The issue is a battle between my body and the baby's placenta. (for any who don't know, the placenta is what feeds the baby, translates my blood and food into the baby's blood and food via the umbilical cord. It looks like a brain, stuck to the uterus wall, and the umbilical cord runs from placenta to baby) For some reason, baby's placenta is fighting my body causing high blood pressure. The long-and-short of it medically is, the medication will work for a bit, then the placenta will fight back a bit harder, and they'll have to increase my medication. It'll be a back-and-forth that can only ultimately be resolved by getting this baby out.
The problem? I'm only 33 weeks and 4 days. They'd ideally like to wait till at least 36 weeks (a "term" baby). At the severity my body is fighting, it is very unlikely that I will make it that far before they have to take baby out. we're taking it one day at a time right now. If I had gone into this mess at 36 weeks, they would've induced me right away. The good news is with our medical technology, a baby born even at 28 weeks stands a very strong chance of survival, and our baby, although requiring medical help from the NICU, would likely do well still if he had to be born today.
Our fetal assessment showed him to be roughly 4 pounds (that's give-or-take a full pound they say). We saw a photograph on the hospital bulletin board of a baby born at 1 lb 12 oz who is now healthy and doing well, so this was encouraging to us.
Today my pressures have been high but not so high I have to go into the hospital (bottom number in the high 80's to mid-high 90's). If my pressure gets to 150/100 I have to go into the hospital, so you can see how stressful it is for me to take my blood pressure 4 times a day!
I DID have to check in at St B last night. So in less than a week I've had 3 hospital trips. This time, fortunately the doctors were granted wisdom (thanks for the prayers) and chose to leave my medications as they are, since one of them (Adalat) is a long-acting drug that requires a few days to fully show itself in my blood pressure.
Curtis and I appreciate all the prayers and support! We ask that you would continue praying, especially pray for wisdom for the doctors, and that God would work a miracle in my body, so this little baby has the best chance at a healthy life he can get. You can pray for Curtis that he would have the energy and patience needed to care for me, and run his business. He's under a lot of pressure with all this responsibility. I wish I could help him out, but obviously I need to do just-about nothing right now except grow a baby.
Please also pray that God would grant me the self-discipline needed for me to take it easy. I'm pretty close to being on bed-rest (they want me to move around a bit, but nothing more than grabbing a drink, going to the bathroom, changing seats etc...). If I can't keep it under control at home, I'll have to spend the rest of my pregnancy in the hospital (which I REALLY don't want... hate those fluorescent lights...)
Anyway, I'll try my best to keep this blog updated, but my first priority is rest, so if it takes a few days for me to post, rest assured, at least I'm resting! Thanks again for all your prayers, and we appreciate your continued support! We know that God has this situation in his hands. This is God's baby, not ours, and we are prepared to follow God's plan and not our own. We obviously have our own plan for how this should all work out, but if God's plan is different from ours, so-be-it. He knows best. In this knowledge, we continue on with peace in our hearts, and are gracious for the care and healing He is providing to us now.
For those who missed my last post and aren't sure what has been going on for Curtis and I lately: December 28'th I went to my OBGYN for my regular appointment and my blood pressure was 150/90 (quite high). Long and short, I spent the night in the hospital and ended up on blood pressure medication. I went home and then December 30'th a home-care nurse came to check on me and my Pressure was 152/106 (very very high) and I had to go back into the hospital. I stayed overnight again and they put me on more meds...
So now I'm on a moderately high dose of Blood pressure medication (Adalat 60 Mg once a day, and Labetolol 300 Mg 3X a day). The max dose of Labetolol they can give me is 2400 and right now I'm at 900 so they can pretty much double what I'm on before having to induce me to get baby out. (that is assuming my kidney's don't crap out first, and baby isn't being affected by my high blood pressure)
The issue is a battle between my body and the baby's placenta. (for any who don't know, the placenta is what feeds the baby, translates my blood and food into the baby's blood and food via the umbilical cord. It looks like a brain, stuck to the uterus wall, and the umbilical cord runs from placenta to baby) For some reason, baby's placenta is fighting my body causing high blood pressure. The long-and-short of it medically is, the medication will work for a bit, then the placenta will fight back a bit harder, and they'll have to increase my medication. It'll be a back-and-forth that can only ultimately be resolved by getting this baby out.
The problem? I'm only 33 weeks and 4 days. They'd ideally like to wait till at least 36 weeks (a "term" baby). At the severity my body is fighting, it is very unlikely that I will make it that far before they have to take baby out. we're taking it one day at a time right now. If I had gone into this mess at 36 weeks, they would've induced me right away. The good news is with our medical technology, a baby born even at 28 weeks stands a very strong chance of survival, and our baby, although requiring medical help from the NICU, would likely do well still if he had to be born today.
Our fetal assessment showed him to be roughly 4 pounds (that's give-or-take a full pound they say). We saw a photograph on the hospital bulletin board of a baby born at 1 lb 12 oz who is now healthy and doing well, so this was encouraging to us.
Today my pressures have been high but not so high I have to go into the hospital (bottom number in the high 80's to mid-high 90's). If my pressure gets to 150/100 I have to go into the hospital, so you can see how stressful it is for me to take my blood pressure 4 times a day!
I DID have to check in at St B last night. So in less than a week I've had 3 hospital trips. This time, fortunately the doctors were granted wisdom (thanks for the prayers) and chose to leave my medications as they are, since one of them (Adalat) is a long-acting drug that requires a few days to fully show itself in my blood pressure.
Curtis and I appreciate all the prayers and support! We ask that you would continue praying, especially pray for wisdom for the doctors, and that God would work a miracle in my body, so this little baby has the best chance at a healthy life he can get. You can pray for Curtis that he would have the energy and patience needed to care for me, and run his business. He's under a lot of pressure with all this responsibility. I wish I could help him out, but obviously I need to do just-about nothing right now except grow a baby.
Please also pray that God would grant me the self-discipline needed for me to take it easy. I'm pretty close to being on bed-rest (they want me to move around a bit, but nothing more than grabbing a drink, going to the bathroom, changing seats etc...). If I can't keep it under control at home, I'll have to spend the rest of my pregnancy in the hospital (which I REALLY don't want... hate those fluorescent lights...)
Anyway, I'll try my best to keep this blog updated, but my first priority is rest, so if it takes a few days for me to post, rest assured, at least I'm resting! Thanks again for all your prayers, and we appreciate your continued support! We know that God has this situation in his hands. This is God's baby, not ours, and we are prepared to follow God's plan and not our own. We obviously have our own plan for how this should all work out, but if God's plan is different from ours, so-be-it. He knows best. In this knowledge, we continue on with peace in our hearts, and are gracious for the care and healing He is providing to us now.
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