Honeymoon day one

Well, it all started after my parents and husband left. I sort of walked around a bit, to get comfortable with the cabin alone with God. I then sat down on the couch and began to pray in an anticipatory way. "God, here I am, come meet me! Jesus, Holy Spirit, come and meet me!" I used more words than that....Anyway, my parents had just taken us out for lunch to Bobby Joe's, a great little burger and fries joint near the cabin! I was pretty stuffed and my stomach was sticking out to tell that to the world. I looked down at myself in shame. That's when I heard God's voice.


Krysta, why are you ashamed? I created you. I know you."

In disbelief I sat there, rolling my spiritual eyes at God's inner beauty fiasco.

"No seriously Krysta. Let me prove it to you."

God proceeded to beckon me to remove my clothing piece by piece so He could prove to me that He made and loved me. For a while, I just sat there doing nothing. But eventually, after much patient beckoning on God's part, I took my shoes and socks off (I know, scandalous).

"See?" He said "that wasn't so hard!"

I then got up and walked into my parent's bedroom, as if God took my hand and was like "I want to show you something!". I stood there thinking "you're not going to do what I think you are...are you?" To which God replied "You bet I am!". God continued to beckon me, in that room of intimacy past, to continue removing my clothing, so He could admire and affirm my beauty as a part of His creation. I was hesitant, but eventually sighed a sigh of "here we go!" and I unbuttoned my pants. I slid them off my body, to reveal my triangular thighs with accented cellulite (I know, beautiful eh?).

This is where things got a little crazy. I could feel Christ looking on with a smile of wonder as He said "wow! My beautiful bride!" It was as if He was gently caressing my legs, with a smile of wonder, as He said "you are fearfully and wonderfully made!" with a tone of awe and an expression of pure strong love. I realized my shirt had slid up to show the wonderful pudgy lump of the bottom of my stomach, so I went to pull my shirt down, when Christ seemed to say "No no, keep it there. I love ALL of you! That isn't a flaw, it's beautiful!". And so, I found myself facing the same awkward feelings of standing before my husband, revealing myself for the first time. Eventually, I heard Christ's gentle loving voice beckoning me to continue showing myself to Him. So I was going to take off some less-productive pieces of clothing, but Christ continued to say "Krysta, I love you and you are my beautiful bride. Please show yourself, so I can love you more, and fully experience your surrender". ...yes yes... I EVENTUALLY, obeyed Him. This left me standing feeling exposed and embarrassed of my flaws.

Still! I felt as though a sheer joy had crossed my saviour's face, as He smiled at me, once again whispering words of sheer and genuine awe at the beauty of my body which God created. It was like a sixteen year old boy getting his favourite dream car from his father... Pure and genuine joy is what Christ had as I willingly displayed my body to Him in that dark and slightly musty cabin room. I felt Him come up behind me and hold me in His arms. As I began to touch my flawed areas in shame, my saviour just said "it's beautiful!"

After a conversation with Christ about my husband, Jesus just smiled and said "you mean that earthly sinner thinks you are so beautiful that he desired to be with you?"

"..uh, ya I guess so."

"Don't you see how beautiful you must be then? God created Curtis's love and desire for you...how much GREATER is mine!"

With that, my eyes were drawn to a picture on the wall of the mountains, a pond, some trees, flowers and a field. It was a breathtaking picture of God's majesty in creation.

"Krysta, I make beautiful creation! It is all beautiful, including you! I made you beautiful!"

I still didn't believe it. But Christ and I continued to “Selah” on that subject for a little while. I kept bringing up my stomach, and how big it was, and that it was sinful and how could my saviour love a sinful part of my body... Christ responded "first of all, yes, it is sinful. But it's size is not a reason to call it unbeautiful! For I make women's stomachs grow every time they bear a child and yet it is beautiful! And the mother who has a large stomach for the rest of her years, is she not still beautiful? My father has created a thorn in woman's flesh to have a small stomach for beauty, but that is not how the Father’s beauty works. You are beautiful with your stomach. Why don't you let me tell you the ways my father has guided your beauty despite your sinful nature."

And so Christ began from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. He complimented the areas of my body which God has continually shaped to be beautiful despite my sinful nature...

As I played with something in my hair He said "Krysta, you are worried about that little scab on your head. But I have known it was there long before you did! And the one hair on your head that is about to fall out, I have already planned how to grow a new one! You are beautiful and I have all the power of creation to increase that beauty!" With that I found a hair on my arm which was not attached to my head. I smiled to myself.

Then began the topic of consummation in our marriage. (Hey! Don’t diss it, it’s in the word!) My mind flashed back to Wednesday night prayer this past week, where Shiany prayed over me and brought Christ's challenging question to my attention "Krysta, will you stand with me!? ...Krysta, will you stand with me? Krysta, there is a war, and I need you by my side, will you take me seriously and STAND with me!?" ...This question was extremely challenging to me at the time, and my answer was honestly "No Jesus, but I really want to...help me".

Now, in this moment of my exposure, I held up my hands and smiled as I received His grace over my beauty as a part of creation. I was able to say "yes Jesus, I will stand with you." as the thought of Consummation entered my mind again, I just thought towards Christ "That still seems very weird to me"...Jesus responded "That is alright. I am a patient God, and My love for you will take time for acceptance."

After this, I got dressed, and sat on the couch. I felt a bit disappointed, like a newlywed who could not be with their love on the first night for whatever reason... I guess Jesus heard my sigh of disappointment and He ministered to my heart. "Be patient. I am the perfect husband remember? I am not disappointed, but thrilled to spend this time together with you! I will not push you, because I created your comfort zone. I know full well when you will be ready, and I will have just as much joy in that moment, as I have right now"...

"How about a walk in my creation right now?". As I walked up to the lake, God said "Look how big it is! Right now, this is all for you!". We then continued to walk, and God put it on my mind to gather some bulrushes. He said "I've used basket weaving before. Gather these.” I didn't know why, but still I saw some in the ditch of our neighbouring cottage and gathered them up! As a brought them back to the cabin, I heard God's voice "no, don't put them inside yet, just leave them on the swinging bench." ...you have to understand, it is a pretty windy day! But none the less, I had just finished exposing myself to this lover and expressing trust, so on the bench they went!

As I continued to walk, I felt the need to take a picture of my face as it was...no smile, no adjusting the face, just a picture. Unflattering, unhipocritical. A genuine naked facial picture. It looks so terrible it's almost worth laughing at. As I turned off the camera, I heard Christ's voice say "it's beautiful!" with a genuine joy. In disbelief I turned the camera back on to reassure myself of the picture's uglyiness. Instead of uglyness, I saw a ingrained frustration or confusion in my eyes, an exhausted expression, a weary soul. I also saw a big nose and forehead but that's besides the point! Christ thinks those are beautiful.

I continued to walk until I came to a place where I knew there would be a clearing in the trees. Instead of taking the path, God had me walk right through the bushes. "it's alright, it's my creation. You wont get poison ivy from this.". And so I followed His instructions, cringing with every three leafed, woody stem that brushed my jeans. ... An exercise of faith. I guess if I can test Him, He is welcome to test me! Of course it's not a test, it's a faith strengthening exercise...but not an exercise, an adventure with my lover...

As I got past the thicker bush, I was in the clearing. It was a beautiful little clearing with a couple of fire pits. I was going to sit on a fire pit, when I heard the voice of my saviour and lover once more saying "why sit on that cold stone? I made you a chair see!?" As I looked to my right, I saw a huge tree which had broken and fallen over just at a nice height to lift me off the ground but not be so tall that I would be frightened. It even broke in a way that would be conveniently easy for my stubby little legs to climb up. There were no bugs on the tree. As I was climbing up it, I could see the different layers of the tree. A sideways look at the hardened sap running just under the bark of the tree. I horizontal look at how the strong core of the tree remained intact while the outer rings had broken away. "see?" said Christ "isn't my creation magnificent?". Eventually I climbed to the part of the tree which was laying on the ground. As I walked across the trunk of the tree to the spot I wished to sit, I heard Christ saying "I've got you, just relax. I've made this the perfect height for you." Eventually I sat down and looked at the view. It was a beautiful picture of my God's creation. I took a snapshot with little effort, and it looks amazing. "see? My creation doesn't require photography skills"

Then Jesus let me know "I'm going to climb up this tree and sit behind you"...as a warning so I wouldn't be startled. We sat there a while and just looked at the things he had made. I admired a piece of bark, that was layered with crystallized sap as Jesus said "I wonder when you people will realize that this sparkling crystal is just as beautiful as diamonds". After a while, we both got off and continued to walk.

As I started to walk back towards the cabin, I saw more bull rushes, and felt God's push, saying "no, you'll need some more. Some longer ones." So I grabbed some, and began to walk away as I heard someone at the camp rummaging in the garbage. "no Krysta, turn around, you will need a few more". So I did. Again I turned to walk away in hopes that they would not see me bizzarly picking bull rushes. Then Jesus said "Krysta, are you ashamed? Just trust me.". And I picked a final few rushes.

As I neared the final bend of my walk back to the cabin, I heard Jesus say as I looked at a birch tree "you'll need a piece of birch bark too...". I responded "but I wont take it off the tree! The tree needs it!". We continued walking until just about at the cabin, when I looked down and saw a small piece of birch bark in the grass. I smiled as Jesus said "There. You happy?" with a smirk.

I brought these things back to the cabin. As I approached the bench with the previous bullrushes on it, I noticed they hadn't moved at all, despite the wind. Not a single one had fallen on the ground! "You see Krysta? You just need to trust me. Put the rest of the bull rushes in the house with the bark."

Then I got a little playful idea in my head "Alright Jesus, I'll put the rushes in the house. But can I leave the bark on the deck? In a windy spot?" I felt Jesus understood the playful challenge in my voice as He responded "Try me..." ... I got the same nervous feeling I had when I put the rushes on the bench, except this time, I wondered if Jesus would let me down, just to prove His divinity. As I set the light piece of bark down, it blew a little in the wind, before wedging in between the floor boards, where it couldn't be moved by the wind. Still though, I had faith as I walked away that it would remain there, and not fall under the deck.

I walked down to the lake agian. This time, because Christ wanted me to get a stone. Once I got down there, I noticed how high the water was, and how impossible it would be to have a good selection of stones. But then I heard Christ's voice once more. "see those waves? See that rock? Go stand on that rock..." ..."are you crazy Jesus!? My shoes will get soaked! Not a single wave has not COVERED that rock!"

"Just trust me"...

"..is this the same "trust me" curtis used when we were camping, and I jumped into the lake? Cause that wasn't funny..."

So I began to approach the rock with hesitancy. As I got nearer, I was extremely hesitant. I stood a rock behind the one Christ had pointed out, when a big wave splashed up onto my shoes. I backed away, just in time for some smaller waves which did not cover the intended rock... "crap!" I thought, "I missed the opportunity!" ...well maybe I could give it another go! So I waited and saw more big waves, but decided to step out in faith. Sure enough, the waves died down just as I stood on the rock, only to pick up again shortly after I left!

I was about to go back up to the cabin when I realized I hadn't grabbed a rock! So I asked God "hey! Wasn't I supposed to get a rock?" ..."oh ya! Um...that one!"... I sort of gave him a spiteful playful look... And felt him smile back at me.

As I approached the cabin, I saw that the bark was still firmly lodged where God had put it! So I gathered my things, and put them all in the cabin.