I want to
pause in our story for an important reason. People back then were able to hear
from God, but we too often leave this sort of thing for bible times. We instead
say that God simply speaks to us through the Word, through nature, and worship,
etc... It is true, God DOES speak to us through these things! But God also
speaks to us audibly. He wants to speak to ALL of us, only we don't know how to
listen just yet... Lets take a lesson from Zechariah, from Elizabeth, Mary,
Joseph, the wise men and shepherds, and lets learn how to open our ears and
hearts to HEAR from God, a new message that he has spoken just for us.
I am feeling
solemn this morning...perhaps it is because I woke up an extra hour earlier,
but perhaps it is God. Sometimes these things happen because God is trying to
tell me something... At this point, I don't know what that message is, but I
will need to be consciously aware and alert today to hear his voice, so that I
can act on what he is trying to tell me. I have learned my own body signals to
an encounter with God. I know the changes in my mental focus, mood, and train
of thinking. Right now it’s all hovering in the spiritual category for me. This
is an important part of self-awareness I have learned along my own journey of
hearing God’s voice. Let me share a bit of my testimony with you guys today, to
show you what it looked like for me to learn how to hear the voice of Christ in
my life.
I was
blessed to be a part of a study in high school called “the hardest 30 days of
your life” which lead up to a spiritual retreat. The first several days teach
you how to pray the “parts” prayer. Praise, Admit, Request, Thanks, Shut up.
You can read more about this prayer here, if you are interested. http://the30hardestdaysofmylife.blogspot.ca/2010/01/day-8-prayer.html and buy it
here http://www.lookadoo.com/Shop.htm (I already checked Amazon for
you, brand new, this is your best bet). Yes this is a plug, but not prompted by
anything except my memories, and the holy spirit.
Anyway, the
part that was the hardest for me was the “shut up” and it means exactly what
you would think it does. Shut up and listen to God, for once in your life, and
every day here after! It was kind of rude to me at first (especially since my
parents considered “shut up” a swear word for us in elementary), but it grew on
me as I began to practice it. The truth is, the first several weeks (because
this is 30 WEEKDAYS not 30 consecutive days) I heard nothing. I would be
silent, quiet my mind and try to hear from God, for probably 5-10 minutes,
constantly catching my thoughts come back, and shoving them out again (men,
this is actually an almost IMPOSSIBLE task for women, to think about nothing
for a period of time... unless we are dead of course). So for me it took a lot
of practice to just learn how to shut my mind up! I think that is why it took so
long for me to hear God’s voice. You see, for me it sounded VERY quiet. And I
didn’t really know my shepherd’s voice all that well yet, so it sounded quieter
than a whisper in my mind.
For the
record: I am not talking about an audible voice I hear, but one that intrudes
my train of thought and speaks into my soul. This took a long time to hear
well. It was very quiet for a long time, and I would have to sit and quiet my
soul for a while intentionally before hearing from God. Eventually, I could
hear him more easily, and just shift gears to my “listening to God” box instead
of taking the step to quiet my soul. Then with more practice yet, God would
interrupt my prayer journaling and start talking. Prayer time became more like
a conversation with God, written down almost like a script. I would use a “-“
for my words and a “+” for God’s words to me. I kept many-a-prayer journals
like this. As I practiced and got stronger, God would interrupt my thoughts on
a daily basis. He would point out people who needed encouragement. He would
stop me before I said something foolish. He would say “do this for me, not
them”...which was great since I was a teenager and didn’t’ like to do things
for my parents... J. God really became my friend! A
daily enjoyment, and someone I could TRULY talk to intimately, not just talk
AT. I wasn’t writing a one-way email or letter, I was having dialogue every
time I prayed!
Oddly, this
part of my life with God died down when I went to SBC... not totally sure why,
possibly because I was so immersed in the life and history of Christianity that
I didn’t “miss” him and stopped actively checking in. I would still hear from
him on a daily basis as I went about my day, but the values of “hearing from
God” seemed fairly Pentecostal to me, for my Mennonite surroundings, so I
kind-of muffled this gift. (I also was confident in my gifts of prophecy by
now, but daren’t speak of those either. These were my own un-founded fears of
course, encouraged by the general Mennonite culture, and not by the college itself).
So as life went on, and I went to BOOTH (who’se social work program is
Christian in name only, in my opinion) these gifts almost vanished. We were
taught to keep God separate from our profession. This was well-learned and has
taken Kayla and I both several years to un-learn. (faster for me, since I went
on Mat-leave and was able to think un-biasedly for a period of time). And then
since college, I have ebbed and flowed in my relationship with God, as it
applies to actually communing with him... The “creep” (my chosen word for
satan, at times. Go ahead, chuckle J but it is true!) The creep planted a thought in my head that when
I was hearing from God and acting on those instructions, that this might
possibly just be Schizophrenia. Of course, this is un-founded and totally
inaccurate. This idea was the combination of too many research papers on mental
health, and not being close enough to my shepherd, that I knew his voice with
confidence.
I am the good shepherd; I
know my sheep and my sheep know me—John 10:14
My sheep listen to my
voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27
These verses
haunt me on this topic greatly. It brings me so much conviction that the church
doesn’t know Christ’s voice, and doesn’t even TRY to hear it most of the time.
The truth is, maybe we are afraid of what it means, or how Christ might change
our lives. This has been my excuse many times. But do you know what God always
says back to me?
“Krysta I
love you. Don't you think I want the best for you? Just because you don’t
understand what I am doing, doesn’t mean it isn’t all-together good.” He then
gets more specific depending on the request. Things like “strengthening
requires effort, and sometimes pain”. “this isn’t for you, it is for me” and my
favorite faith-required tasks response “let me worry about my own reputation.
This isn’t about you.”
This has all
been somewhat of a recent testimony of my relationship with God. Something
intimate that most people care not to share. Please read these words and take
them to heart, when I say that Jesus commands us to know his voice. I don't
think he is necessarily saying, know the bible (although we are also to know
the bible well so we can use it to fight evil, and so we can be as clever as
foxes yet as innocent as doves). Jesus is saying that he sent us his holy
spirit for a reason! Why are we shutting it out? Isn’t that why he went back to
heaven!? To prepare a place for us, and to send us the holy spirit. Jesus said
that through the holy spirit, he is with us ALWAYS! Well, if he is with us, we
ought to hear his voice, and if we hear his voice, then we will KNOW his voice.
Then he is our good shepherd and we, his sheep! Then we can take these verses
in John seriousely.
Listen for
God today. Remember, this is Christmas. Although many shut God out, many more
still, invite him in for this one time of year. That means God is near already.
He is always near of course, but at this
time of year, I always find, I can hear Christ more clearly. Even Easter is
more difficult, because there is much warfare surrounding it. The birth of
Christ, welcomes him into the world. This is what people do all around the
world Christmas morning. Why don't we take advantage of the fact that the world
is worshiping our God for one day this year, and ask the holy spirit to speak
boldy while he is so actively moving in our world?
Like I said,
hearing from God can take time, especially when we don't know how to shut up.
This took almost a month for me when I was in high school and VERY focused on
the task, so be patient with yourself, but put earnest effort into quieting
your OWN soul and listening for God’s. He WILL speak. He loves to speak to us.
I recommend
writing it down, since it can be very assuring to keep a log, to look back on.
In Jesus name,
Amen
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