Sometimes it takes a chiropractor...

I am not going to sugar coat it, I am in a pretty bad spot spiritually. 

I am pregnant, suffering from insomnia, and I have been sick for over 8-9 weeks. I have had 5 or 6 different illnesses, combined with terrible spring allergies this year, and asthma that has been well exacerbated. I have been out-of-commission since right around when lent started... I was sick the entire time I did the 30 hardest days, sick after that and still don't see an end in sight. I have been praying sincerely, pursuing God intently, having faith in his grace, etc...  I have been doing this, and believing in him for deliverance from this stuff... For 8-9 weeks... And I have only been getting worse. I have been to the hospital for my asthma, been on prednisone, re-bruised my ribs from coughing TWICE in that time, and the last few days, finally given up... I have asked for so much prayer, in my weakness I know others have been lifting me up too... And here's the thing... 

God's grace has been covering me...

April 16'th I felt a lump in my throat like the beginnings of another virus, and so I had this to say to God (among other things)... 

"Can we stop these games!? is prayer as useless as it feels right now... What have my prayers accomplished other than to make me feel like an idiot for having believed you... Or in you even at times... Tell me where I am out of line here. SEARCH ME!!  Other than this anger I now have...my thoughts are not out of line and you know it. HERE I AM! COMING TO YOU! SO WHERE ARE YOU!? Where is this glory I read and hear about!??cause I have faith! But you aren't here so I am calling you out on this. HEAL ME!! For your glory! Come on already!"

April 17'th after even less sleep and even more coughing...

"God, I'm anxious. And I don't want words from you cause I'll just stress about their validity. But if you are still on my side, then please be with me at this appointment God [my OBGYN appointment]... And keep my coughing and Bp passable for the next 2 weeks. Lower my stress, raise my coping skills...I want to love you, but in your own words, actions speak louder than words, so I need some action from you... Amen."

Well, first blessing was that I DID pass my appointment and I did cough less during it and seemed to cope alright considering how little sleep I got. 

The bitter part was I was coughing way more when I got home... Like... WAY more! I almost went to the hospital again, but Curtis really stepped up and managed to help me control my asthma enough to not go in. Still, I didn't go to sleep till 2:00 AM when I took 1/4 of a gravol and slept till 3, then 3-6, followed by dozey coughing from 6-8:45... (This is actually half-decent sleep for me these days since my Asthma constantly wakes me up in my sleep every half-1 hour). 

I didn't even pray this morning... I had nothing further to say. Faith requires action by God's own words, so I was waiting for more action...

Oh I got action alright... Today Curtis was a hero and dusted our main and upper floors, sending me to his parents place to wait out the dust storm with Josiah. He worked very hard, vaccumed and washed things, etc... When I returned, there was still some dust in the air,but I decided to take another 1/4 gravol and try to nap at the same time as Josiah.  

Propping myself up with 7-8 towels, and my pillow, I was relaxing myself by having a coughing fit when I heard a "pop" and knew instantly that my already-bruised rib had popped out of place... Leaving me totally immobile, and in excruciating pain every time I needed to cough or blow my nose (two things that are impossible NOT to do right now). My spirit thought "go figure. I can't think any less of God anyway right now..." So I didn't even attempt to pray about it... I just started looking for chiropractors who are open Saturday's... They were all closed or closing within the next 20 minutes and couldn't take me... 

Side note:  I dealt with this last pregnancy, and the hospital is 100% useless with this problem... I have to go to obstetrics not regular emergency, and they don't have a clue what to do but give me pain killers... It's so uncomfortable and deflating... But this word have been my next step since the pain is NOT tolerable. 

I made one last call to a chiropractor office that didn't have hours on the webpage... This is where things began to change...

The chiropractor answered his personal cell and apologized that he couldn't help me, as he was very busy with previous engagements, but then he paused and asked me who my chiropractor was, and I told him "Dr Nachtigal".... "Actually, He's at my house right now, just a sec!... Yup! He'll meet you at his office in 20 minutes!"

...for real...random chiropractor Dr "Z__" was a friend of my chiropractor and actually used to share a practice with him. My chiro was on his way home from an intense workout and decided to pop by his buddie's for a quick adjustment. Then he was going to do some paperwork at the office for a while anyway. I happen to call the other chiropractor's office line (which he has forwarded to his personal cell so he can help out patients from medi-vans coming from up north on weekends)...

All of this was simply a "what a releif" to me, until after my adjustment when my chiropractor (whom I had forgotten was a Christian) said "you cannot deny that this was an act of God..." 

Then it hit me... God orchestrated this to show me he is present and with me and sees my needs! And WITH GRACE becuse (incase you didn't see it yoursel) my prayers were totally out of line. No more righteous than Job's...

But God, with grace, loved me. Forgave me for ignoring him and showed me with Un-deserved and un-merited grace, his faith through actions, and spoke to me through a chiropractor when I was still too calloused to see it! 

Today's prayer...

"God, I stand corrected. I am still weary and suffering and in pain and I still don't understand why, but I do understand that you have my whole world in your hands. I repent of my attitude....etc..."

We serve a great God and I hope you can give him Glory too, for what he did in me today. I am still miserable and in a great deal of pain... But I know that God has it in his hands...

Lent Devo/Media Fast Update

**CONTACT INFO AT THE BOTTOM, IF THAT'S WHY YOU CAME HERE**

I am on day 23 of 30 in my devotional, which is a five-days-a-week plan,which perfectly covers the period of time commonly known as "lent". Lent is not something I grew up celebrating, and to be honest, not something I have cared to do a lot of research into. The fact is, I think if we can devote 24 days to "advent" in preparation for celebrating Christ's birth, we ought to spend at least that much time preparing for his salvation-giving act of dieing on the cross and His victorious resurrection. THIS is why I am celebrating Lent. Whatever else it may mean, I do not know. But between me and God, it is 100% about preparing my heart to celebrate what Christ has done for me. End of story.  (This is why I don't see giving up chocolate or candy or something else is really a beneficial Lent activity... how does that bring you closer to God? I mean, if it REALLY does a heart-work in you, then all the power to ya! Otherwise, it seems like more of a way to make-light of what Christ sacrificed for us...Just my tangent thoughts.)

ANYWAY! The devotional my close friend and I are doing together is called "The Hardest 30 Days of Your Life" by Justin Lookadoo. (no not "Lucado", "Lookadoo".). It is 100% geared for high school students, and is something we also did together several times in high school... Since then, it has simply been collecting dust. But we both needed a spiritual kick-in-the-pants, so we figured, "why not?" Sure there are lots of little bits in there that require re-framing in our minds to get the content out of a high school mind-set, but the morals, lessons and teachings are all rock-solid and somewhat humbling that we ought to have these down-pat by now since we've been taught them before... The devotional has daily challenges, such as re-commitment to Christ, acts of kindness, setting up an alter, giving something away, etc... You are expected to complete EVERY challenge no matter how difficult or crazy they may seem. That's the whole idea of getting something out of the devotional.

One of those challenges is a 21 day media fast (15 days of the study, but 21 days literally). During that fast, the devotional gets you to commit to various things such as a daily prayer journal, daily bible study, scripture memorization, spending time in nature, changing your attitude etc... and it is so very refreshing!  Media fasting is a life-necessity I took away from my very first time doing this study, and I do a media fast periodically to re-set myself.  Sometimes when I get off the media fast, things simply fade back into the way they were, and sometimes I realize permanent changes that must occur. This is one of the latter not the former kinds of fast-endings... There are changes that need to be made!

One of the challenges in the devotional is to spend a 1/2 day alone with God, and then to commit to scheduling these in every-so-often afterwards. My friend and I decided to check out "Women Refreshed At The Well", which is a spiritual retreat center for women, similar to what you can do at St. Benedict's but a little more homely and women-centered. Its just off Henderson highway around Lockport. We could only book our overnight for March 27-28'th which was the closest available weekend she had (about 2.5  weeks later than the devotional asked).  So for this reason, because media-fasting shuts off so many voices in my head so I can actually hear God clearly, I have chosen to continue my media fast until after this overnight has happened.

A lot of things happen when you cut out media... I really do think it is something everyone ought to do for at least a month, at least once in their life... (because once you do it once, you will do it again in the future).. Here are some of the things I got out of it this time.

• I realized how incapable I was of relaxing without the dependency of technology. I was reliant on media to distract me from my troubles, and calm my mind. It took me over 2 weeks to learn how to simply sit at a table with my thoughts, and be content, and learn how to just sit and think and wind myself down. I know this sounds basic, but I dare you to cut out media, you will soon learn that this is an EXTREMELY COMMON trouble we have...
• I realized how little of my thoughts I actually processed. Most of my stress came from not being able to process my problems and thoughts, because I was too busy de-stressing to tv or facebook to simply sit and think...
• my blood pressure went down... yup! And I have tested it. Sitting and just thinking (even worrisome thoughts), gives me lower blood pressure than sitting and even looking at happy photos on my phone. Screens alone raise my blood pressure. So now I turn them off!!
• I lost my phone... and it didnt matter. For like 2 full days, I was actually happier and more calm than ever because I wasnt accoutnable to a device, I had nothing to check on etc... So now I just turn on my cellphone volume and leave it by the other house phones. No need to have it with me during the day. 
• Facebook does nothing good for my life at all. All it does is prevent me from actually seeing people. Think about it... if you shut down your facebook account right now, how many phone numbers would you need to collect? how many MORE people would you actually go out for coffee with simply to catch up because you couldn't snoop their life with the click of a button? This is my next move... My plan is to dis-able my facebook account permanently and to live without it, and live with real people instead.
• I could hear God's voice. That's right... It took a while, and I have had very close communion with him before in my life. still, it took that two weeks for me to calm my mind, organize my thoughts, and be able to just sit and "be still before the lord" so he could talk. And that has been glorious all on it's own! God is so amazing and will speak so much healing into your life if you allow him the time and brain space to actually SPEAK!!
• I was sick the ENTIRE time (like couldn't breathe, bed-ridden for various parts of the month) , and yet my house was never in complete chaos... like... I wasnt embarassed to have people pop by! (no it wasn't spotless or "clean", but it was generally tidy, for real!). 
• my son was happy. Remember i was sick and low energy. Yet my 2 year old was somehow more content...
• My marriage is more stable. I am someone who really takes-in the media I see. So if I would watch a romantic movie, I would subconsciously feel as though my love-life was missing this aspect of a relationship... poor Curtis got the brunt of this. I am not saying our marriage is all sunny-side-up now, but I have far more clarity and confidence into what are true areas for growth and what is just the lies Satan is planting in my mind.

so as you may have caught, i was sick...THE ENTIRE TIME. I was actually sick for LONGER than the media fast, and I am still not totally better yet. I have been sick for over 5 weeks in a row with 4 different bugs, plus exacerbated asthma. I have been on prednisone, antibiotics, herbals, blood pressure monitoring, blood sugar re-testing, new asthma meds...on top of the regulars... and all while being pregnant... and all while having very little support from my husband who was also fighting sickness and works very hard day-in-day-out and simply didnt have the extra energy available... I was in one of my dark places for sure... My anxiety was very high, and I had to make a choice... this was my "Peter, do you love me?" moment from Jesus, after I totally denied Him during Josiah's induction/first year of life trials... This was both satan trying to stop me from growing, and God's miraculous ability to use that struggle as the fires of refinement for my soul. So I had to decide whether to say "God you are cursing me again!" or to run to him and fall at the feet of His holy and perfect will for my life, no matter what it meant. It took all the strength I had, and then the Spirit's strength in me to hold on during this time.  (I count it a blessing that my breaking point is so meager... the trials some people endure for the renewing of their souls are far greater than these, I fully admit. But for me, this was a rock-bottom moment). The power of anxiety and PTSD can turn a small situation into the largest crisis in one's mind though... and this is what happened for me.  Here I was, sick, elevated blood pressure, elevated blood sugar screening test, only 27 weeks pregnant... thinking about everything I endured with Josiah after 33 weeks... wondering if my poor baby would even survive these trials... but he too (this child inside of me), needed to be surrendered to God's will. Because whether God grants me the joy of parenting this child, or simply carrying it for a time inside of me and then giving him back to God, God's will is both sovereign and good. (I have been surrounded by several 2'ed and 3'rd trimester still-births/miscarriages... just another little anxiety on the pile).

So many refining moments took place... Satan was trying to break me down, and stop me from doing this devotional plan in the first place, because he knows the Holy Spirit works when we pursue Him... But instead, all the evil one did was push me closer, make me stronger in my faith, and make me realize how weak I am apart from Christ. He failed miserably, and now I can laugh in his face, while in the protection of my savior's arms.

Trials can come at us like a harsh sun...they can melt the ice on our hearts, or harden the clay surrounding them... It's up to us how we will let the trials of this world affect us. For me, I am choosing Christ. I choose him now, and if I fail miserably in the future, I will get up and choose Him yet again, with full confidence that He will have me back. Amen...

Anyway, long story short, I have no desire for media at all. My media fast will continue likely until after easter, and I'll make a few decisions at that point. I have already gotten rid of all my apps other than the necessary ones (and the 16 silly un-deletable APPLE apps that I have hidden two screens down!!)... I imagine at that time, the decision will include de-activating my facebook account all-together,  continuing to use my phone...as a phone only (maybe even getting a dumb-phone [non-smart-phone] to drive that home! Who knows!) I'll spend time in prayer about that one. But TV is something I do not want in my life anymore at all. I am sure there will be exceptions such as social gatherings, but again, all this will be decided post-easter. For now, I am continuing in the joyful lack-of-media that has allowed me so much clarity of mind, loss of stress, and gaining of God's gracious and un-deserved presence in my life.

If you need to get a hold of me, do it for REAL!!  My phone number is 2 0 4 - 6 1 2 - 2 2 5 0 (call or text) or even an email  k r y s t a h a r d e r @ g m a i l . c o m . Lets actually SEE each other in person! I'd love to tell you what we are up to, and hear whats up in your life! But I don't need media, facebook, or a smartphone to do that. I refuse to let my mind be enslaved by these things anymore. And I refuse to invest in friendships where I am not actually worth someone's physical time. I want to be a real friend who invests energy, emotion, prayer and joy into your life, and I would love the same in return. All else, I count as loss.

LENT

I am not catholic, but I do see something un-holy about celebrating advent and not lent. Which holiday requires our hearts to be more prepared? Christ's birth or his resurrection?

Tomorrow marks the first day of lent, and although I admit, lent is something I have done ZERO research on, I beleive that taking time to prepare our hearts through discipline, ritual and sacrifice for Easter is extremely relevant and important. Christmas, we can get-away with, forgetting the meaning and making it about family or giving or any of those other things...because we still have Easter coming! But Easter, Easter is the reason for everything! Not just the reason for the season... Easter is why we are alive! It's the very core of our beliefs and the cause of wars all over our planet today... Easter is worth fighting for. Easter is worth sacrifice and discipline. 

I haven't actually decided what to do yet for lent... To be honest, I had forgotten about it until I saw a friend's Facebook post about what she was doing! 

There are lots of angles to Lent... Sacrificing something hard to give up, reading a devotional or a certain amount of scripture each day, deprivation of the body (such as cutting out an essential food group as a form of fasting and dieing to self)... Then there's the gaining angle... Increasing yourself. Researching daily, running or excerciZe or juicing or any number of "New Years resolution" type lent activities. These are all excellent things, so long as they bring you closer to God in the end, and help you celebrate Christ, not self. 

This is the tricky part for me these days. Being pregnant means two things for my faith. 1) no Ritalin 2) baby brain... Seriously this is like the perfect storm for stupidity and distractability. I swear my IQ is half of what it would have been 6-7 years ago in bible college... so I need to think this through on paper (to stay focused) and I need to decide something that is next-to-impossible to dis-connect from God. 

So I started my list of possible ideas... Intercession, bible reading, prayer journaling, encouragement notes... But my mind was like "it's not hard enough!" But without a proper commitment, they are ALLtoo hard... I reminisced back to highschool when our whole youth group participated in a study called "the hardest 30 days of your life" by justin lookadoo, which ended with a spiritual retreat. 

I did some math, and it totally works for lent, since it is a devotional where you do 5 days a week, which evens out to complete the 46 days of lent. It also leaves me a day or two to recoup and focus all that hard work into Easter weekend. 

This is a neat devotional in that it's set up like an "I dare you to attempt this" with a challenge in each devotion, that (group mentality) MUST be completed. There's a 21 day media fast, a certain style of daily prayer, a give-away of a favorite object... And many more. 

Needless to say, it will be difficult but will keep me focused! I am excited to see what can happen in my faith with a little intentional discipline. 

Happy New Years!

I realize that isn't till tomorrow, but there's no chance of me being up past midnight two nights in a row. 

Just wanted to throw my resolutions out there so it's all official, andMAYBE someone will call me out on them when I am breaking them! They may sound lofty, but it's all things I have done in my motherhood life already, so, not impossible by any means. 

1) do personal devotions 4-5 days a week.(may sound small, but it's a realistic goal and a large step forward for me)

2) work out 3 times a week (for as long as baby lets me of course)

3) schedule my days (sit down each morning and physically write out my day's plans. I have set an iPhone alarm for this)

4) budget (keep track for a few months of all spending, then create a budget, then continue recording spending, and adjust once baby 2 comes along)

5) cut out junk food (all-encompassing) and all packaged meals (like mr noodles, kd, Canned soups, frozen meals)

6) no daytime tv/iPhone time-killing/Facebook till after Curtis is home from work (post-supper on weekends)

7) go to bed before 11 every night, preferably between 9:30-10:00 if possible.  

These are sort of in order of importantce and do-ability. Ie: the latter ones are more likely to be dropped first if it's too much, rather than the former. 

That is all! Just wanted to get all that out there!

Christmas Day Advent

Well, this is it! Today is Christmas day! It’s what all these devotions have been leading up to, and why we celebrate all month long! How exciting!! 

Except...

Well, has Christmas ever been anti-climactic for you? As a kid, it NEVER was, because we got presents! Then as an older teen, when I began really digging into my own relationship with Christ, it took on new meaning.  I held great value to both Christmas and Easter day for spiritual reasons, and for the closeness with Christ’s experiences I suddenly felt. Now in my adult life, I have had great years spiritually, and also very anti-climactic years... Last year was anti-climactic for several reasons... number one, we didn’t have a home (that’ll do it!). But the number two reason (and probably the more important reason) is that I did nothing to prepare my heart for Christmas. Instead I just counted on the "magic of the season" to sweep me off my feet! And...
It didn’t...

It was still a nice time of year with family and friends, but I left the season...empty... somehow... And it was because I didn’t take time to invest in Christ.  I didn't take time to worship him, and to truly be in relationship with my savior at this time of year that ought to be ONLY about him!

I have a friend who just recently bought a house. She is single, but her family has in-laws now and they share Christmas day, much the way our family does (alternating who gets Christmas day each year). She was sharing with me (slightly down-heartedly) that “I guess this year I’ll just have a missionary Christmas (A.K.A poor person Christmas), and worship God, read the bible and stuff like that”...we both immediately laughed at her comment, because we BOTH knew in our hearts that this was the absolute BEST way to spend Christmas day!! With the guy whose  birthday we are celebrating in the first place! How lucky for her!
But really, how lucky for all of us...

We are all without excuse! It doesn’t matter where you are today. Alone, with family, out in public, you are allowed to open the bible today. If people object, you can actually make THEM feel bad about it (don't try too hard though), since this is such an obviously religious holiday. Pull out your bible. READ the story. Pray. Spend time with your creator (who made a way for you to even SPEND time with him.) That is what today is all about! It’s about God on earth to be close to the people he created. So lets spend time with Him!


Wow! Now I am getting more excited! What a thrill that we get a whole day off work to spend time with our God, together in community!! I think you can probably catch the uniqueness of this once-a-year opportunity that I am talking about. Easter is far more somber as we celebrate both a death and a life, and all the tremendous theology that goes along with that holiday... It is special and very significant in it's own right, but at Christmas, we simply celebrate Christ, and being with God. It’s really that simple, and so we ought to take advantage of that today!

I am a firm believer that on certain days of the year, it is just...EASIER to talk to God... I think it has a lot to do with how close and present the holy spirit is. Who knows! Your neighbors might be having a prayer party, or maybe the house down the street! But the reality is, families dust off their bibles today, and pray for the first time this year. People really usher in the holy spirit today. So please, take advantage of the fact that God is in the area these days, and spend some good quality time with him. That Is what Christmas is all about.... God with us... So lets be with him today...

Today I am not going to post the Christmas story. I am not even gonna throw bible verses at you... That is up to you to do today actually. You need to open up your bible and take a look for yourself! If you decide to read Luke 2, do me a favor and read luke 1 as well! I just love that it gives us a glimpse of old-testament ways, and the laws we were free’d from, in John the baptist’s dad’s experience. It's a great way to bring back the significance of all the "God with us" moments in Luke 2!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05Y-Px39cm4

here is a song for you if you need it. Mercy Me—God with us.... This is what Immanuel means! This is NOT a Christmas song, but it is a worship song, and I believe it contains a very holistic picture of what Christmas is about, right down to Christ’s death and our freedom from sin. If you need one, let this be a starting point to your worshiping God today.

Dear God, here we are! It's your day. God I know this isn't ACTUALLY the day you were born on, but I still thank you that the world stops for a moment to acknowledge the day you came to the earth.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTOYekVnDsg  (Future of Forestry --The earth Stood Still). God thank you that the earth stopped for a moment that night as it's creator dwelled on it's dust once more... SO long God...you hadn't walked on your earth since adam and eve's days, during perfection! Yet here you came, once again...to be with us! Even though we are so covered in sin! Thank you God.... There are no words to say right now...You came. You really came for us... Thank you for the hope that Christmas represents, yet to come at Easter. Thank You! Thank you that just as the Israelite waited for you, and some had faith to truly see you, we are also waiting for you! Thank you that you are coming back! Lord, may we be ready to see you just like Joseph, Mary, the shepherds, the Magi, Zechariah and Elizabeth, and the prophets... please Lord, open our eyes. Strengthen our faith and our boldness in you. Lord you came to earth to be with us... help us to grow discipline to give you our time, just as you gave us yours. Help us learn to hear your voice. Help us learn how to walk in your ways, and feel your heart for people. Help us to grow in the courage necessary to act in faith on the things you put on our heart Lord... Please... We offer up our spirits to you today and ask that you make us clean once again, and bring us to a holy place today Lord... Your will...Amen...

December 24 Advent

Well, it’s Christmas eve! Tonight’s the night most of us will attend a church service, participate in family gatherings, and for many, thrash through heaps of wrapping paper to open gifts! Personally, we wait till Christmas day for gifts...why the hurry!? Somehow I think this would make the real Christmas day so much more anti-climactic for me, and why would I want to do that? Our church has five services this year! Two last night, and three today! Crazy eh? It’s called “unfrozen” (with a logo that looks very much like the Disney movie “frozen”). So I am very curious what the message is going  to be about!

In any case, today we are going through our last little piece of scripture! Don't worry, I’ll still have something for you tomorrow! 




¹⁹ After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt ²⁰ and said, “Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child’s life are dead.”
²¹ So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. ²² But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, ²³ and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth. So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets, that he would be called a Nazarene. (Matthew 2:19-23)

...Yup! That’s it! Pretty anti-climactic for Christmas eve, eh? There are still a few really interesting points to pull out of the story today. For one thing, we see twice in this short passage that Joseph received prophetic dreams and immediately acted on his faith by obeying them.  Another really nifty point to bring out, is how God knew all the prophetic things in the whole story, that seemed impossible to man, yet totally were possible with God. Matthew explains how the prophesies are all true about where the Christ is going to be from! Bethlehem, Egypt and Nazareth! The truth is, as we read the story, its not like Mary and Joseph CHOSE to move to any of these places out of a desire to fulfill prophecies spoken over their son, but instead, they simply worshiped god and obeyed his leading, in how to keep their son safe. As a tesult, ALL the prophecies were fulfilled. This continues throughout Christ's life, right up to his death. Things like "a sword shall pierce his side" or "not a bone will be broken" or "he was pierced for our transgressions", etc... (i'm not 100% confident on that last one, but you get the idea. Old testament prophecies about Jesus came true because they were legit! Not because someone MADE them happen!)

So often, we pray for something, and don't have the faith to trust God to answer. We so-very-often, try to fulfill our own prophesies, and answer our own prayers! Like... For example, if you are praying for God to provide, and instead of praying and doing your duties, you decide to drop out of ministries, stop attending church and get three part time jobs to try and answer your own prayers... you were likely praying more to your own ego than to God... because your end result is by your own effort and has left you farther from God than before.

This is just one example, but we do this all the time; where we have somehow gotten it in our heads that God only answers prayers by way of the right-now-popular phrase; “God helps those who help themselves”... Well,  I am sorry, but this ISNT scriptural!! God helps those who love him, who have faith, and who love and serve his children whole heartedly! THAT is scriptural! And God also sometimes answers with a “no”, which ought to be respected too. If we are going to fight his “no”s, then we are up for a pretty defeating battle... The truth is, its not up to us to answer prayers. Thats God’s job.

I had a professor at SBC who liked to say “let God deal with his own reputation”. It’s not our job to fulfill God’s prophecies. Its our job to be obedient to his callings on our lives, to love him, love his children, and to worship Him! That’s it! If we step beyond that, we are not following God’s plans. This last portion of the Christmas story, in light of the rest of Matthew’s version of the story, is such a beautiful affirmation of this principle. Matthew discusses several very impossible prophecies that had been spoken over Christ’s birth, and they all came true! Not because people made it happen, but because God made it happen. We need to allow this moral to affect our prayer lives.

If God can birth a savior from a virgin woman, than he ought to be given the dignity of being in control of your problems too. Remember, he’s done some pretty amazing stuff! Healed the sick and raised the dead, made a way for gentiles to -not only be saved, but- have an intimate personal relationship with him, he parted the red sea, won impossible battles, delivered his people, and even raised himself from the dead... He can handle what you are going through.

And if God has made you a promise, whether you heard it directly from him, or through scripture, or through a prophetic word from a friend...remember that It’s not your job to uphold God’s reputation. That’s HIS job. He does a fine job of showing us his capabilities through the Christmas story in Matthew, and so lets take some time to dwell on that this Christmas eve. 

God came to earth, to deliver his people, to make a way for ALL people to come to know him. This was to fulfill a promise he made way back in genesis, after the fall of mankind where He says “he will crush your head and you will strike his heel” (genesis 3:15). This is believed to be a direct reference to Satan’s influence in the crucifixion of Christ (striking his heel), and Christ rising from the dead (crushing Satan’s head). THOUSANDS and thousands of years before this happened... God made a promise that he kept. Hebrews 11 is also an excellent example of how we ought to have faith in God’s prophetic words. This passage goes through many old testament stories and how the patriarchs were made promises which they had faith in, despite not even seeing the promises fulfilled... Of the men in the stories told, Hebrews says “These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised” (Hebrews 11:39)

And so, we are told over, and over again to have faith, trust in God, and he will do what he has promised. It really is that simple. Anything more complicated on this matter, is not of the Holy Spirit.  And so we ought to pray. 

I want to round off this thought with a passage from James.

¹³ Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. ¹⁶ Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
¹⁷ Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. ¹⁸ Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops. (James 5:13-18)

This may have seemed like a not-so-christmas themed devotional for christmas eve, but let me remind you that today is not christmas day. That is tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day we celebrate Christ's birth. Today we are still remeniscing the waiting... And as we wait, we ought to have faith... We ought to pray WITH faith, because tomorrow we celebrate the birth of our savior.

Let us pray...

Jesus, you came to earth in such an impossible way. You touched our lives, each and every one of us! You ALLOWED us to be touched by you! Even though we are so filthy, you cleansed us, just as you promised. God, you crushed Satan’s head just like you promised. God, you came to earth through a virgin, just as you promised. You made your way from Bethlehem, to Egypt, to Nazareth, just like you promised, and you mourned for the thousands and thousands of babies who were murdered by Herod... just like you promised... Lord, you are true to your words. Those you said you would bless in the bible, you blessed! And those whom you promised to humble, were humbled... Lord you do the same today, and we are sorry for our lack of faith.
Jesus, you are our one true king, and we celebrate you today. Please fill our hearts with Joy over your birth and the fulfilled promises that it represents! Lead our hearts into a place of celebration as we worship today! And God, mature our spirits in faith. May we learn from what we have read this month, and may our faith grow ever stronger, to be like those who believed your coming when they saw it. You are true to your words, and we love you.
In Jesus name,
Amen.

December 23 Advent

I forgot to mention a nifty little part of yesterday’s passage to you guys!! (if you haven’t been reading EVERY DAY)

¹² And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route. (Matthew 2:12)

Here’s what I missed: God spoke to the Magi, who weren’t even Jewish, (so in no way “clean”) likely not even of the same faith! Yet we see they had faith enough to follow the star, and worship a toddler when they arrived at the home. That’s a lot of faith! And so God speaks to them as well, because even before Christ’s death, things were changing. Just with his BIRTH people could somehow connect with God on an individual basis. Wow! (I just had to point that out before moving on, since I kind-of glossed over that verse yesterday)

Today we are looking at the family’s flight to Egypt.

¹³ When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up,” he said, “take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.”
¹⁴ So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, ¹⁵ where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: “Out of Egypt I called my son.”^[a]
16 When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. ¹⁷ Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled:

¹⁸ “A voice is heard in Ramah,
    weeping and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children
    and refusing to be comforted,
    because they are no more.” (Matthew 2:13-18)

So here we see, Joseph has yet another dream! This time, it is also prophetic and from an angel. We see that the dream and travel took place PRIOR to Herod’s thinking of his grand scheme. It’s not like there were rumors that this may happen to children in the area, being spread. The story is presented in such a way that we must assume that Joseph acted on his faith, prior to this scheme being fully thought through.

So we also see once again, that Joseph wakes up, and immediately acts on his faith in the angel. Not only did they move, Joseph would have been giving up his livelihood at home, no one said goodbye to family, they just fled in the middle of the night after Joseph’s dream. Wow! Talk about faith. I doubt they packed much other than some cloths for diapers, and maybe some food... leaving home and possessions, traveling to a far off land... (this is where my speculation about how the Magi’s gifts were used, comes into play from yesterday).

After they leave, we learn about Herod’s plans... It is sad, that his response to the Magi’s lack-of-return is death. We have to wonder if he simply had anger issues and wanted to demonstrate his power/make the magi feel guilty for the deaths of all those infants. But of course it likely was strategic, yet not really thought-through. Did he think himself as powerful as pharaoh in Egypt, that he could just kill a whole generation of infants? Why didn’t he try a little harder to just find the one child?  Whatever the case, we know, sadly that this too was prophesied over the time of Christ’s birth, As Matthew throws it in there as well from Jeremiah 31:15.

What a grief-filled time for God’s people... But we see that God too, mourned the loss of these little babes... he began mourning their loss back in the days of Jeremiah, until the time of Christ, when it came to fruition... Our God truly does sympathize with our tragedies.  This is kind-of a side point, but for some people this Christmas, it is probably a main focus, and so I really do want to emphasize this. We see that God planned for his son to be safe, yet for the other infants to fall victim to the fate of Herod’s wrath. We cannot know why this was... Only God knows why, but we do know that they would have gone to be with God in paradise. As sad as it is for the thousands of parents left mourning their children, these babes were now perfect, lacking nothing, and at peace in their father’s arms... 

This part of the story doesn’t get nearly enough attention really, considering how terrible the event was. This was worse than a plague. Beautiful healthy boys were slaughtered. Think of how that would have affected that generation! Think of how many single female followers Jesus had in his ministry. Do you ever wonder why? Families grew up without sons! Their sons were murdered. There WERE NO men for the young women to marry of that age group... I am sure many of them made due, marrying older or younger men, but the truth is, heirs were lost. Family businesses would have ended with no heirs. Family lines ceased. And souls mourned for a lifetime that was lost... This deserves a somber moment of our time.  If God mourned this event from the time of Jeremiah until the time of Christ, then we too can pay the event a little more respect than we generally do at Christmas. 

The truth is, Christmas was a very sad time for many many people that year, even if they didn’t know it as Christmas yet... and today, Christmas is also a very sad time for many people. If this is you, take comfort in knowing your God and your savior grieves with you, and is very close and present, to comfort you. Instead of running from God, run to him, and ask him to hold you with comfort during this season... Its okay to cry and be full of grief, because that is exactly what God feels for your situation. He loves you dearly and wishes to be your comfort and healing.

If you are more-so full of life this Christmas, I encourage you, when you see this part of the Christmas story, to acknowledge it dearly, by praying for those around you who may also be grieving during this season. Pray for the people who dread the coming of Christmas every year, because of what life has thrown their way. Genuinely and sincerely lift them up in prayer. And if God places it on your heart, then do something for them during this season that will bring them a thread of hope or a smile. Do not “sing songs to a heavy heart” because proverbs 25:20 says “Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.”. And this is VERY true if you ask anyone in grief who has been told to “buck up” or “it’s time to move on”... So be sensitive and if the Lord leads you, act on your convictions. Act on what you are drawn to do, with FAITH. Maybe it is something that doesn’t make sense to you (like giving someone a pair of socks or something random) but maybe it’s exactly what God knows they need right now.

...This was not at all where I planned to go with this passage! But clearly this is what someone needs to hear today. So I will leave it at that. I think you can draw from the situation the moments of faith on Joseph’s part, and I feel this is a point that has been driven home several times during this advent season. So today, l want us to just spend time reflecting on the heavier side of this season for us or others. We ought not to over-look this part, since it was a reality back then, and tragedy continues to be a reality today.  Spend time in prayer today for those around you, or for yourself. If you are in grief,  praying over yourself is in NO WAY selfish... you need time with God too.

Dear God, we thank you for sending your son this season, so that we can be close to you and approach you today. God we want to approach you for those around us who are hurting and grieving this season. There are so many un-answered questions, that we often try to blame you for...God we pray that these questions would soften this time of year, and that instead you would be pulling peoples hearts close to your wide-open arms and tear-stained face. Lord, bring the grieving comfort. Bring the hurting some healing-of-heart. Lord, we pray overwhelming peace over these people this season. If their situation can allow for it lord, we also pray for some Joy in their hearts over even something small. But mostly lord, we just want to pray for comfort and that the grieving will see you are near to them during this season. Lord we pray for miracles. We ask  that those who are angry and running from you, would pause and turn around to see your face as you pursue them. Lord, be near to the broken-hearted whether they have asked you to be near or not. Lord we ask for your incredible grace that you showed that first Christmas to flood the lives of the hurting during this season. We leave them in your hands God.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.