So this post is going to seem more like a journal entry. Consider yourself privelaged into my personal thoughts! (as if you weren't already forced to be, against your will at some point in our friendship :)
Lately as you may know, i've been working at SEARS in a seasonal position. All's well there, but I am still quite discouraged that I just can't seem to land a Social Work job... A degree just isn't good enough and I'm beginning to tell myself all kinds of negative self-talk like "i'm not really a social worker, i'm just pretending to be" or " nobody wants someone like you to work for them" etc...
in the VERY recent past, Curtis and I have realized how much my A.D.D has affected our relationship. As he directed me to quotes in a book he's read about A.D.H.D in marriage, I began to realize how much ADHD is not only affecting my marriage, but my friendships, my work life, my job search, my prayer life, my fitness goals etc...
Long story short, we're looking at the possibility of getting me medicated for ADHD. There was a girl on the C'n'C retreat who was on meds for ADHD and she swore by them! She still had a vibrant energetic personality, but she was able to cope and focus.
My issue? we're poor and don't have coverage, but were not poor enough that the Government would pay for therapy and drugs ya know?
here's my interesting twist. After talking to my ever-so-supportive dean from Booth, I felt patronized. the only solutions she saw for me was to go to mobile crisis for therapy and talk to opportunities for employment about getting help in my job search...good grief... now i'm just a mentally challenged hopeless cause... she didn't even give me a "i'm glad you're working through this" or a "excellent self-awareness" no... just a "talk to your doctor, you need help etc... etc..."
now i'm just pissed, frustrated and a bit confused about the whole thing...bah!
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