Mark Chapter 3

Our church is doing this sermon series called "50 Shades of Grey"... obviously a controversial title for a church sermon. The point of the title was based on a story our pastor read about a hotel, where the Gidian Bible was taken out of hotel rooms and replaced with copies of the popular book "50 Shades of Grey" that can only be described as female pornography in it's grossest form (in my opinion...this is based on summaries as I refuse to read that book). Anyway, Todd (my pastor) decided that we are living in a post-biblical age. We read more books ABOUT the bible, then we do actually reading the bible. ...So he decided to challenge us to read a chapter a day for the next 33 or 66 days! He calls them "rout 33" and "rout 66". He picked specific books.

I'm doing Route 33 on my own, and Route 66 with Curtis (although we really suck at remembering!)
Today on Route 33 I read Mark 3 and saw something interesting...
It's a chapter all about Jesus preaching to people. As soon as he's done with one group, another gathers and so on so on... at one point him and his disciples manage to get to a house to relax and finally eat something that day (later in the day I imagine as I read...not sure though).

Of course people start gathering. When Jesus's family hears about this, they say "He is out of his mind" (Mark 3:22) and start going to that house to help him get some privacy. When they arrive, someone tells jesus his family was there....But his response is not only rude, but suprising for someone who respects his father and mother. He says "Who are my mother and brothers?" (Mark 3:33). He goes on to say "whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother" (Mark 3:35).

It just hit me...that Jesus would actually dis-own his parents in order to share his wisdom with just ONE more group of people. He publicly dis-owned his family in that moment. Today people would be like "meh!" but can you imagine how significant that was back then?

That's how much our faith should mean to us... If we want to be like Jesus, then his Father's will exceeds EVERYTHING. Even family... Even a spouse! It's so easy to justify that God commands us about our families so we put their needs ahead of our "desires"...but if your desire is to follow God, and his will, and their desire is more selfish (EVEN if your family is a God-following family)... YOU NEED to choose God over them... (i am preaching to myself too)...

I think out loud

The title is a strange concept to people who think in their heads I've noticed... For those who can't comprehend this, in order for me to actualize something it needs to be outward. That's why I have about a thousand spiritual journals. That's why I underline in my bible, and sing songs, and talk to God like a crazy person, and hear from him in my heart, and have to talk with people and write things out etc...

Now! My dearest beloved husband thinks in his head... which honestly is astounding to me...seriously, I CAN'T do it. So when we're having a conversation and I'm talk-thinking (as I have decided to call it) Curtis just gets so frustrated because I'm not making sense or it's a "how do you know that!?" and I say "I DON'T!" Haha it's pretty funny anyway...

Sometimes, I tell myself I'm normal and I can process in my head. So then I stop journaling, stop writing out my assessments at work, etc... what happens? all that happens is I stop growing in my faith, my cases plateau, I start making dumb choices in life etc...

It's as if sometimes I am in denial that I have ADHD or something...but let me tell you, being pregnant and off my Ritalin... oh BOY do I have ADHD....
I did a personality profile tool at work where you answer lie...240 questions, and it spits out your character trates...There are 24 of them and it lists them in order of MOST like me to LEAST like me... well, my strong ones?
- Spirituality, Appreciation of beauty, Curiosity, Zest, Bravery, Love, creativity etc... you get the point...
My weak ones? hah! all the ones I need for work... Bottom of the list were:
- Judgement, fairness, prudence, leadership, love of learning, humility, self-regulation etc... haha

Oh boy... and I showed this to my supervisor and he didn't fire me! Go GOD go!

Anyway, it was a good reality check for me. Sometimes it's easy to tell yourself you're something when you're not. But I decided to approach this learning exercise with brutal honesty. I answered the questions not as "what I would LIKE to think, or would be ideal" but instead where I'm actually at.

And where I'm at is VERY different from where I was even a few months ago when I wasn't pregnant... Eg: My Judgement score would've been way higher a few months ago. So would prudence and even love of learning.

MEH! Such is life! I'll just roll with it I guess.