A.D.H.D Much?

So this post is going to seem more like a journal entry. Consider yourself privelaged into my personal thoughts! (as if you weren't already forced to be, against your will at some point in our friendship :)

Lately as you may know, i've been working at SEARS in a seasonal position. All's well there, but I am still quite discouraged that I just can't seem to land a Social Work job... A degree just isn't good enough and I'm beginning to tell myself all kinds of negative self-talk like "i'm not really a social worker, i'm just pretending to be" or " nobody wants someone like you to work for them" etc...

in the VERY recent past, Curtis and I have realized how much my A.D.D has affected our relationship. As he directed me to quotes in a book he's read about A.D.H.D in marriage, I began to realize how much ADHD is not only affecting my marriage, but my friendships, my work life, my job search, my prayer life, my fitness goals etc...
 Long story short, we're looking at the possibility of getting me medicated for ADHD. There was a girl on the C'n'C retreat who was on meds for ADHD and she swore by them! She still had a vibrant energetic personality, but she was able to cope and focus.

My issue? we're poor and don't have coverage, but were not poor enough that the Government would pay for therapy and drugs ya know?

here's my interesting twist. After talking to my ever-so-supportive dean from Booth, I felt patronized. the only solutions she saw for me was to go to mobile crisis for therapy and talk to opportunities for employment about getting help in my job search...good grief... now i'm just a mentally challenged hopeless cause... she didn't even give me a "i'm glad you're working through this" or a "excellent self-awareness" no... just a "talk to your doctor, you need help etc... etc..."

now i'm just pissed, frustrated and a bit confused about the whole thing...bah!

Rememberance day

So It's been a while since i've blogged! Apparently a job makes it more difficult to blog then I thought it would. I think what really matters though, is that working all the time makes it much harder to stay in tune with God! Cause your focus is divided, and you are required to devote 40 hours of your week to the mission of whatever agency you're working for. My daddy used to say "when they are paying you, then they own that time. they own those eight hours of your life, and you need to do what they tell you to." That's why agreeing to work somewhere should be carefully thought through I guess, not just jumped upon. If they want you to be a pushy sales person then you gotta do it.  (thats not something i'm required to do though)

So in the spirit of working on remembrance day, I figured I'd take a moment and reflect on what it's all about. Obviously it's about peace, and paying our respects to those who have risked or sacrificed their lives for us in the name of that peace. But then I thought (in my ever-so-cliche way) about Christ as the ultimate soldier. He came in the name of peace, not afraid to  make a scene for his cause. He definately fought for us.

He fought for our ULTIMATE freedom. The ONLY true freedom...

when we think of it that way, it's a bit less cliche. In the end, what does political freedom get you, after death? Nothing. What does world peace give you after you are gone? nothing. Constantine...what does RELIGIOUS freedom give you after you pass away? absolutely nothing but burning embers and luke warm faith. But christ fought for the only real cause in our existance, and that is the freedom to be with our creator!

Don't get me wrong, I would like to pay my respects to people who serve our country. They are brave in a way i could never be. But I think it's important not to forget the very God that kept many of those soldiers going... The God that fights wars over people's souls every day, every hour. The God who doesn't sleep during war.